I truly do love my girlfriend so much. I want a future with her. I try and try again to be honest and some times it last quite a while. Somehow my addict brain always justified a lye. She’s crushed. How do I tell her that I love her with all my heart but head isn’t on the same page?
Ahhh, maybe get that head on the same page? When we use we lie, cheat, do horrible things. Basically, we become insane. Only way to fix the hurt and distrust we place on loved ones is stop using and prove to them we mean to change. Takes time to produce that proof. Time heals all. Only way to prove you truly love her is stop using and get sane. All the words in the world won’t convince her. Only action.
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Thanks I’m just feeling a bit hopeless. I’ve been trying this for years. 90 days, 6, 9 months… I have a lot of chips. I don’t know if I have the capacity to be honest with myself. I always end up back here
Well, getting plugged in and coming to terms with being powerless over this all is the only way I know. Good luck. Hope things work out. It takes a lot of work. No easy fix.
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Once you truly have an honest and thorough first step it begins to look different. You can get to the point where you won't justify a lie. It's hard but achievable
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How can you love someone else so much if you don’t love yourself?
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Never really understood this.. I easily love my girlfriend more than myself..
Hey bud similar situation. Wife is leaving after 9 years. Because I cheated. I cheated because my addictive mind would rather take an easy way out rather then deal with uncomfortable emotions and feelings. That applies to drinking and drugs just as much as it does to talking to other women instead of working on the relationship. My advice give her space focus on yourself and reach back out in a few months. Worst case scenario if she doesn't take you back you'll still be richer and in better shape then if you are using. Keep your head up my guy
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I cannot tell you how you feel. I can tell you that I was a miserable drunk for a long time. The relationships I had were largely self serving. There was love involved, but there was also obsession. Possession. Control. Manipulation.
As I got sober, worked a program, and really examined my life up to this point, I gained much insight into who I really am. And it turns out that I like that guy, and I like being that guy. I’m far from perfect but I’m so much more capable of honestly loving someone else, now that I’m capable of honestly loving myself.
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Thanes man. It really sucks sometimes feels like I’m being pulled in two different directions
Meetings then meetings for a year .I had to give up.drown you self in meetings.every day. Aa. Org. Zoom meetings . Aa 