I try to remember halt never get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired I was all 4!! I had never experienced like being blind no offense to anyone but a distinct overpowering overwhelming feening to smoke crack like I just experienced a half an hour ago. I've signed up for more therapy the self-loathing always is my cop out my family disowned me 12 years ago. I will be clean 3 months on December 16th! I called my friends in recovery when I realized I was in deep hurting trouble it's painful to go through that s***. That I took a hot shower I usually mind you analyze why I'm feeling the way I am but this time it was overwhelming that it was actually painful. I never want to go through that again I'm going to lay down and keep my door locked I don't trust myself to even go dump the garbage right now sad huh? My name is Lauren please pray for me and my sobriety and I will pray for you thanks for letting me dump. If you have any other suggestions to not pick up please let me know. God bless you and keep you one day at a time Sweet Jesus PS 3 months ago I cleaned my house of all paraphernalia contacts of dope dealers Etc thank God
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