I used to think that I was the problem
With so many puzzles but no way to solve them
I had many dreams, so many options
Until you came along and you robbed them
I saw the red flags but I could not run
It was just so hard to see how far id fallen
At least not until I had hit the bottom
I lived with the daily tantrums
The ones you said I was provokin'
And I guess somehow I had forgotten
Just how to spot a real life villain
I lost hope, I lost love, I lost optimism
Because when you live in the house of terrorism
Your heart pumps fast from all the adrenaline
Your vision so blurry and full of distortion
I guess I thought your heart could be softened
All along it was mine that was becoming hardened
And everyone said I should proceed with caution
But to me you were just so awesome
In reality you were an expert marksmen
Shooting words from your mouth like venom
And me eating them up, like I was starvin'
The words must have tasted good on your tongue
Now everything you said, is who I've become
The words holding my throat, now I'm chokin'
But I thought you could change, thought we could bargain
All the while every window was closin'
And everything I loved is now all rotten
Because of the words so full of toxins
And when I'd cry, you'd play the victim
Like I was the one to evil and gruesome
That everything I thought was just so uncommon
From the way you kept talkin'
Your words feeling like they had just been sharpened
Causing my light to waiver, causing it to darken
My colors inside, not even on the spectrum
Now look at me, look who I've become
From the gun you wield that was still smokin'
And I see all the things that you've stolen
And how you fooled me by doing the bare minimum
So many years I see you were wastin'
I just couldn't see it then, I couldn't imagine
I never accepted, I just couldn't fathom
The yours would be the knives I'd be removin'
And you'd be the hurt id have to overcome
But I'm ready now. I feel the momentum
This wasn't fate, it wasn't even random
Thank God for granting me serenity and wisdom
But now if I speak, I'd be exposin'
All that you did, and you did it all often
Every turn taken met with criticism
Laughing it off like it was only sarcasm
But I'm no longer numb
And I'm tired of being stung
So it's time to take back my freedom
Time for you to stop duckin' and dodgin'
Changes that could provide us a better outcome
It's time to grow up, time to blossom
To stop being stupid, to stop being dumb
If nothing changes you'll no longer be welcome
No longer can I live with the screamin' and shovin'
I've lost so much, call it a fortune
So this is it, we're no longer young
And it wasn't all me, I'm not the problem
But I will be the one who is going to solve them
JayGee