I’ve been a loner sort of my adult life. Until,I turned 40 and ,like a ton of bricks,I became lonely and lonelier. Now each day becomes more depressing without not much hope in my future. I truly didn’t mind being divorced and alone. I actually enjoyed the silence more and more. Until,I only communicated with a certain few. All day everyday. It was like that for yrs. I was safe and stayed fueled on alcohol. I had everything I needed I thought. Now,I’m so lonely and bored I don’t know which way is up?? Just wanna share my life with that special woman.
Hi Adam! Did your mindset about loneliness change when you stopped drinking? I know that I struggled a lot with being alone when I first got sober, but now, nearly three years in, I don’t mind being alone and actually enjoy it.
Not sure because I’ve had a few months of sobriety here and there but still was ok being alone. As I turned 40 was when I really noticed it big time. IDK what to do? I have lots to give to a special girl. She’d be a very lucky woman if we became close and a relationship formed. I’m divorced without kids. I live alone in a fairly new house in a new neighborhood. In best part of town. I just need that chance to prove myself and what kind of life I live. I don’t waltz around town as if I own the street. Only because I wasn’t raised that way. I’m country at heart and would rather live out on a farm with animals and a pond to fish in. But I do enjoy watching my better half get dolled up ready to be shown off on the town and the race track. And a nice dinner to complete the night!
From my experience, when i am dwelling on finding a significant other nothing happens, but when I focus on working on myself and figure out ways to self-improve something comes through. I think people are attracted to other people when they are focused on themselves and doing what’s best for them. Then you are able to make space/time for someone else. And if you are working towards long-term sobriety, some time focused on yourself will work wonders and make your sobriety even stronger.
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I’ve always heard love hits you when ur not expecting it
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HI Jenn,
I have to agree with you on that and your comments to Adam.
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Loneliness is common among alcoholics. I feel that’s a big reason for addiction. The hard part. Is breaking that mold with sober fellowship. Good luck.
Aa meetings
Hi Adam. I totally get it. I recommend finding activities you enjoy. Embrace life and all it has to offer! People are doing great things and they could use your help. Once you are excited about some things, the perfect person will be attracted to that.
It did a lot
Very good advice I believe. Just gotta do it