I agree it’s hard. I try to meet people for morning coffee. In an ideal world walks and hiking and nature can be options. Are you in AA? Perhaps building a sober community there would help.
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That’s so sick that after your relapse you got up dusted your self off and went back to meetings! What a long bumpy road. I heard somewhere recently that people who are focused on getting there, get there slower than the ones who enjoy the journey. It really helps me in trying to stay present. I’m always thinking about the outcomes and destination! Half the reason I hate taking walks lol. Thanks for sharing your story 
I still have no idea where the friend requests are
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Yea, luckily being sober is becoming more popular, looks like I picked a convenient time to hit rock bottom lol. But honestly being around drunk people is annoying and boring! Hopefully more sober people will come out of the woodwork.
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If you go into the menu, the friend requests should be there, but I’m so new, not sure if I am doing things right on the app.
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I’m new here and to the idea of being sober. But this is definitely my biggest fear - I love being social and am not sure how to do that without drinking. I feel like I need all new friends. So many (even those I consider closest) of their reactions to me taking this step is that “I don’t need to be sober, i just need to cut back”. Not everyone understands the place alcohol and drugs take you mentally and the lack of control you experience. If you find out the answer, let me know! Lol think my first step is more “me” time but that will get boring fast.
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These are great tips! I honestly am so open to trying anything and everything, I just wanna be my best self. And yes.. you mentioned small talk- small talk is my WORST enemy!! It’s so dumb and calculated and there are all these social standards that come with it. Small talk and awkward silence… worst nightmare lol. Gonna give these a try, thank you!!
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Yea I feel you, I feel like the beginning feels like social purgatory lol.. finding out who the f*ck I am and trying to be comfortable with it. If you skim and scroll some of the comments here on this post people have given great advice and success stories. AA definitely helped I haven’t gone enough to make close connections yet but I’m already starting to make friends who have called me over the holidays just to chat! People in this community are so nice and genuine and I’m realizing that’s what I want in a friend
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I’ll read through! I imagine with sobriety comes a lot more genuine connections and friendships, and that part I do look forward to!
Exactly! I’m like… if I want to hang out with someone sober… I must reeeally want to hang out with them lol. I’m realizing if I’m not having a good time somewhere sober, maybe it’s just not a place I wanna be? Idk kind of hard to tell the difference between my anxiety and the truth. Either way, we got this!! 
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Just need to find the right places to go I guess. AA meetings are a great place to meet sober friends. This is no joke. They glamorize drinking but don’t show the dark side of alcohol. Private message if you would like to.
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Thank you Nancy! And yes I agree… hopefully your family will come around, and if not… stay strong! You’re doing this for you❤️ hopefully they’ll recognize the change
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Oh yes i have a recovery team. Coach counselor medication doctor. I do AA meetings everyday plus every Tuesday I do an early recovery meeting where I met wonderful recovery friends. We are all really close and help each other daily. My family is another situation they feel I should go to functions and just not drink. Yea sure put a kid in a candy store and tell them no candy right. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. This disease happened fast and with a vengeance. Really only got bad in 2018. So in short period of time 3 detox and 2 residential programs. I have to fight to stay sober even if it means no major functions. No family. Other alcoholics in family but they don’t realize it.
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I really think through counseling that they look at me as a threat because they are afraid of their own drinking and don’t want to admit it. I am actually fine not seeing them. They can’t even do a baby shower without memosas
I understand where you are. My family only thought i had a problem when i stopped drinking. Over time i can manage interactions with them. it is different.
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Try to get together with other sober people. Hiking, dinner, markets, movies, the list can go on!
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I honestly look around and am shocked that so little people enjoy socializing without being clear minded. Then I just mingle and bask in the fact I’m not gonna have a hang over or any issues and if o start to lose interest in the event I head out.
The fact that I’m able to socialize without substances is a win and if people try to pressure me I just laugh and tell them I am an adult not a teenager, and to please stop peer pressuring me cause it’s pointless and I’m more fun and strange without being loaded.
It took a lot of work to be okay being the DD or the sober friend. I drew my line at drunken outbursts.
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I feel you on all of it. I still have a difficult time trusting people, it took me over a year to get comfortable with myself and my sobriety. My social life has become oddly non-existent, and that's okay because I needed to focus on myself anyway. It will come with time, just like everything else. I just have to keep doing my part and the rest will come.
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Lauren I am touched by your struggle. I encourage you to do the do’s as they say in AA and soon you will make and value new friends in AA and even regard them as family. Btw I love the 9th step promises and hope you know them.
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Not yet, haven’t gotten to that step!
For sure working on myself has been great.. staying focused on other things besides socializing, getting a lot done… it finally feels like I’m moving forward in life and not constantly moving backwards and trying to fix it
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