When I was married back around 1990, I expressed my concern to my wife about our drinking. I had been in and out of treatment centers and together our whole lives were pretty much about drinking. Went to AA meetings. It seemed like the more I tried to get us sober the more she pulled away. It ended up with us getting divorced. You can't get somebody else sober. They have to do it themselves but first they have to want it. And you have to want it too.
My advice to you is that you get as far away from this relationship as possible and just take care of yourself. And stay out of relationships for at least one year until you are seeing through a different set of glasses.
I definitely understand this whole situation because I too was once codependent and I couldn't stay out of relationships. I always had to have somebody. My sponsor back in 2003 brought this to my attention and encouraged me to stay out of relationships for a minimum of one year. I stayed out of relationships from 2003 all the way until 2015 before I met my now wife who I am very happily married to.
You're going to have to make up your mind whether you want this thing or not. You're going to have to make some sacrifices. It's kind of like starting with a fresh piece of paper and repainting your life.
As far as I'm concerned, contrary to what most people think, until we can learn to get comfortable in our own skin outside of any relationship we don't really have anything to offer in a relationship. It's really all about what this person can do for me and US human beings will let you down every time. This is why we have to first be comfortable inside ourselves. Successful relationships are all about what each party puts into it rather than what they can get out of it.
Comfortable in our own skin does include not getting cuddles from others and anything else that that might imply. It's not as bad as one might think. And it's not for eternity.