I’ve been in a relationship for about 6 months with

Struggling Help
#1

I’ve been in a relationship for about 6 months with an extremely heavy drinker. He does coke a lot too- like all day even if we aren’t doing anything in the house. I do a little bit too when we are out drinking not any time else. He has a successful career and pretty much a high functioning addict. When we first got together I expressed to him many times that I am concerned with our party habits. Each time he has dismissed me. He is not responsible for my drinking, I am. I had a problem way before I met him so I am not blaming him. But the relationship with him woke up to how bad things really are and without his support, I finally decided to do something about my substance abuse problem. This meant taking a break from the relationship.

Of course he didn’t like it. We spent 7 weeks apart and when we finally got together again, I can tell he was secretly drinking and doing drugs. I am not judging him, I was there once. My problem is, I do not want a life like this at all. I had a blast this weekend without alcohol or cocaine. I did have an edible though.

My recovery is my priority right now…. Would you end the relationship?

11 Likes
#2

Yes. Do it yesterday. Sooner, if possible.

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#3

If it were me. Yuuuup. Peace out. We can’t force others to live how we want to but we do get to decide who rides with us.

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#4

I would. You will just end up back in the same cycle if not.

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#5

If the relationship isn’t in your best interest and your sobriety is your #1 priority…. Then yes. Painful as it may be.

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#6

I think you already know the answer to your question. Now it’s time to find the strength and get into action. Let him do him, while you go do you. No judgements. It’s just 2 people going in two different directions. You should be proud of yourself

2 Likes
#8

Very

#9

:joy::joy::joy:

#10

I was the “supposedly” highly functional alcoholic. I don’t know who came up with that but it’s BS. It never ends well. Think about it, have you ever seen an old successful addict whether it’s music, business, parenting, etc.?

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#11

No I haven’t. I think “high functioning addict” is a very temporary phase.

#12

someone wrote ( forgive for not remembering your name but your words rang true for me...Thanks!)
they wrote:
"Nothing changes if nothing changes"....
so true...
be the change

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#13

Holding onto relationships that aren’t promoting the type of growth or environment you want and need isn’t the way.

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#14

I needed to get sober to find out if I wanted a relationship or not. I suggest you get sober and re-evaluate.

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#15

Love this

#16

I would end it so you can focus on your personal healing and goals. He will just drag you down if he isn’t willing to get help.

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#17

Well you gotta really truly be committed to sobriety or it doesn’t really work. Just sayin

#18

Yes

#19

Yes, I had to leave a 10 yr relationship, bcuz I out grew him. It sucked and hurt, honestly it still hurts. Your number one objective right now is to protect yourself. You only have to change one thing and that's EVERYTHING.

#20

Only you can make this decision if u read ur post as I just did the writing is on the wall literally lol good luck...

#21

If you're asking, you already know the answer.