I’ve had it. I can’t do this anymore

Hotline
#22

I know. And I’ve had to save his life more than once with a Narcan kit which is another reason I hate that he uses in the bathroom with the shower on. I’m afraid I’ll find him dead on the bathroom floor and it will be too late to bring him back. (He is the one shooting crack.. I smoke it. About once a month he would bring back heroin which we both inject)

But there is a difference between using one more time and giving someone one more chance.. and actually this is the very first time I lve threatened consequences. If I leave like this, after our agreement, I’ll feel like an abandoner. We both have 5 days clean.. I can’t just leave now after we made the agreement. If I did, the chances he would stay clean are very slim. I also will have a hard time staying clean if I leave him.. especially knowing we made an agreement.

Last night I had a severe allergic reaction and passed out after taking Benadryl. he stayed up all night making sure I was breathing ok. He’s not a bad person. I wouldn’t feel ok without him. I wouldn’t be able to sleep without him. 6 years, not one night have I not had him next to me. I need us to get sober so we can go back to how we were. for 5 years of our relationship he was the best guy ever.

Anyway, I can’t break up with the person who means more to me than anything. Being sober would become almost impossible for me. The amount of trauma it would cause me would be unbearable.

1 Like
#23

Please continue the path of recovery. He obviously needs help also. Have you thought about going to a rehab hospital. I know will my alcohol that was only thing that got me to stop. They immediately put on medication. Please look into it. So many overdoses today. Prayers for you.

#24

Let’s hope you don’t have to, but be prepared if you need to. Neither of you are bad, but you’re both ill. Make today a good day

3 Likes
#26

Can I give my 2 cents here. It seems like you are in the middle of a disagreement with your fiance. We are not commenting to give you ammunition or talking point for this. We are advising you in how to save your life. Sobriety is not an issue of living your best. It is living or not. You stated you use concealer to hide track marks. There is no drug that is injected that is 1 legal or 2 not deadly. You can stay with him if you want. You can argue what you want. But what we see is someone headed strait for a grave.

4 Likes
#28

Splitting up may be the only way to get and stay clean

2 Likes
#29

Beth,

Leave before you have no Narcan for yourself. Or would he use it on you??? Get the H—- out. Loving yourself is the most important thing to take care of right Now!!
Get Out Now!!!

1 Like
#30

Inpatient detox and rehab can allow a way out.

1 Like
#31

You need to take action now to save your life. We only receive so many chances. Rehab or a treatment center is a way to start. You cannot do this alone… Addiction is a terrible disease and you have to get help. Codependency and addiction is not a healthy combination. Now is the time. A big step is recognizing the problem. The next step is taking action. Good luck.

1 Like
#32

I’m a relationship junkie! I was with my partner for 17 long years and I finally said enough of the lies and the broken promises and after a year and half of me being clean he’s still using! If you want to change you have to make that decision and get yourself out of there while you still have a life to live!

1 Like
#33

Hello Beth: Congratulations on your clean time! I'm a recovering addict (4 years, 7 months, 23 days). I am big fan of going to NA meetings. In fact, there's no practical way for me to stay clean without going to meetings. NA meetings are online, in person and free. Thank-you.

1 Like
#34

Like on an airplane grab the oxygen mask first, save yourself and run for your life!

2 Likes
#35

The only thing you have to change to be sober is everything. That includes unhealthy relationships. If you truly put your sobriety above all else I believe you will see that your current living situation is not conducive to sobriety. Save yourself so you may live, this is a deadly disease.

1 Like
#36

If you can’t change the people around you, change the people around you.

1 Like
#37

You have to leave to a sober place to recover

#38

How are you doing?

#39

Hunny, I’m gonna say this, getting clean, staying clean, and being in a toxic relationship with an addict is the HARDEST thing I’ve been through in my entire life. 23 years with him and I looked at my son, and looked at myself (whom I now love) and said I HAVE to close this chapter so I can continue feeling good about myself and I need to get my 13 year old son out of here before he grows up thinking it’s ok to be treated the way he was treating me. I love my husband and always always will. But I love myself and my boys more now. It’s hard, but I feel like I opened a brand new crispy chapter of a life that has been painful, sometimes amazing, trying, and hurtful memories. I’ll always be there for him, as long as it’s not effecting my life in a way that’s negative, but we’re going to court next week to make divorce final. You can do this and after it’s done, after all the sadness calms over, there’s light baby. There is. This too shall pass boo

#40

Go to a rehab that might help. Sometimes you gotta do what’s best for you. Like I’ve told other people. I quit my jobs, left where I live, went to rehab, went long term, and now I’m in a reentry program until I get an apartment. My girlfriend of 6 years left me and we tried to work it out but it was not good for my recovery. So I just left and changed my number. I talk to only 3 friends from home. I live about an hour away now. I do not plan on going back as I have established a life for myself here now. I have new job and the place I’m at is safe. We get randomly drug tested which I don’t mind because I need that right now to keep me on track. Sometimes it’s better to change everything and get away from what’s toxic to you. If you really want to help yourself I’d advise you to do something similar to what I did before it gets worse. Because we all know it just gets worse. It only gets better if you want it to and you do the necessary things for it to get better. Nothing changes if nothings changes they say, and that is right. Please do yourself a favor and help yourself. Get out of that situation for your own good. Love yourself again and live. I know it’s not easy but I did it and look at me now. Things are way better even after my legal issues.

#41

How are you doing Irene? It’s been a few days since you reached out for help. Hope you both are still sober. If you need help, reach out to some of these kind people who took the time to respond. We are here for you. You are not alone

#42

Oh no :sob::sob::sob: please, please leave if he doesn’t respect your boundaries and want of getting sober . Coming off IV meth and heroin I definitely understand on a personal deeeeep personal level . You have to get away from it . For me, just seeing an orange cap, even walking into the pharmacy or WALMART seeing boxes of them, literally pushed me to tears. I would cry myself to sleep …. Lots and lots of love to you.