I want to use so bad. And I don’t even get why. Everything about the drug I hate. I hate how I feel the first few hits. I hate the taste. I hate the anxiety I get while using and I get after it’s all gone. So why in the heck do I want to use! It makes no sense to me. I’m not going to use. I worry once I get my first pay check I’ll relapse. I’m hoping by then I’m in a better mental space!
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I feel the same way as you do
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It’s ok, just breathe. Your likely done with the physical withdrawal but your brain is in full survival mode. It is going to take time for your brain to begin to function correctly without the substance it’s worked with for so long. Good news that it will in time, badish news is be prepared for a battle to stay sober for a couple months until the craving begins to stop. I suggest getting plugged into any recovery program you have available immediately. I live by one motto “I do not pick up no matter what”. I’m a little concerned for you about the fear of a paycheck relapse, this disease is a master manipulator what may appear as a fear to you can be a plan of the addiction. Crush that notion asap. Your worth this, it’s going to take a lot of work
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I know for me I want to use to escape the way I feel. I don’t like the way it makes me feel but at least I can shut my brain off. Thing is, you can turn it off for a bit but all the sh*t comes back and usually it’s worse after. You don’t need that stuff, it’s poison. Practice just sitting through those moments of wanting to use. Write, read, listen to music,
Watch a movie, go on social media, anything to distract yourself from the one thing that you know you’re better off without 
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We’re here for you! Always post when you want to use! We’ve all been there:zap:
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Just know it wants to kill you.
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I have struggled this Christmas. I felt pretty good on other holidays and then who knows why but…bam. I need to be around people in recovery. You’re my fam. My tribe if you will. We got this and each other
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Thank you everyone!
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If you know there's a date that's going to increase your odds of using (paycheck). Plan something with someone sober to help keep your mind off things. A loved ones a trusted friend... Please try to avoid any high risk situations
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It's called obsession. You have an obsession.
The most important component in your recovery equation is surrounding yourself with people who have been where you are.
We also need to learn to play the scene forward. You may feel good for a while But once it's over with you will be right back where you are right now carrying around a lot more guilt and then you'll have to start all over again.
It's called believing the lie; That this time, everything will be OK. But it never is, is it?
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Hi, Jordan. So glad you posted. I so agree with these awesome suggestions shared.
And echoing Sophia T., completely.
We have A L L been there.
Be proud of yourself for wanting to be sober, for reaching out.
And keep reaching out to us and utilize the many, many resources available.
Please yes, play that tape forward. Each time I relapsed, my addiction grew and became worse.
Look up how long cravings actually last and any of y’all please correct me if I am wrong. I believe that such is around ten to fifteen minutes?
Yes. Distract yourself and take it one moment at a time if that is what is needed.
We are all rooting for you, Jordan. Please let us know how your week is going!
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You need a miracle and lucky for you miracles happen. So believe with everything you have that the obsession will be removed. Pray, meditate, go to meetings, and stay in the center of the pack. AND Know this, take this one day at a time and with each sober day it will get better. There’s something on the table waiting for you that is infinitely more rewarding than any high could ever offer.
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