I was 2 months sober and I relapsed to the point of having to go to the hospital with alcohol poisoning . I went to detox and was feeling great . I lasted 5 months … I had a slip . It was a glass of wine and I went a couple week and then I felt in control . This week I went into a full blowen relapse with alcohol and cocaine I didn’t call into work so they filled a missing person report
( which I feel was a little drastic ) . I had to call my boss and explain I am an alcoholic and I had a slip . I feel so low . After getting my life together and I blew it up again . 
I am so sick of hurting the people around me and then having to pieces
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I feel u …. Multiple times I’ve had many months sober and then relapsed .. last time I relapsed was 93 days ago and it woke me up , I had to sleep in my car and not see my daughter .. this isn’t easy but u can do it .. stay strong and reach out anytime u need to 
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Alcohol always lead me to cocaine and for the last few years of my drinking career it went hand in hand. Can you go to a treatment center?
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You’re on the right path, I had very similar relapse rates, it happens…you’re not a failure, many successful long term sobriety recoveries including myself (3 1/2 years off alcohol and cocaine) involved relapses in the beginning. Completely understand how you feel right now…low sense of worth, the feeling of defeat, why try again…BUT you’re beating it…now is the time to start a new streak, to NOT give up…one day at a time…stay diligent, go to meetings and continue to rebuild your life. Rarely is recovery smooth, and guilt is a b!tch when you do slip up…but you should be proud on how far youve made it. Also-delete any dealers phone numbers and tell any former user friends to never under any circumstances give you cocaine…if they don’t agree to that…delete their numbers as well.
I feel your pain, Katie. I relate to your story. Best thing you can do now is try not to beat yourself up over the relapse and get back to doing the things that were helping you to stay sober. I’ve relapsed so many times over the past several years 3 months, relapse.; 4 months, relapse; 6 months, relapse. Part of of the problem….minimizing my disease, being in a very toxic relationship, picking the things I wanted to do and not do in AA. Self will run riot / control freak. It was hard coming to terms with the fact that I was the one creating my own misery. Once I started to let go of my worries (problems), get into action, and do the next right thing, my life got better and things started to fall into place naturally. It took me a long time to finally “get” the program of AA. Years and years of research and relapse, but it took what it took. I hope you are able to get back on your path of sobriety and get the help & support you need. Here to help.
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Maybe you should consider a rehab stay and get some solid sobriety followed by a outpatient support group.
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Alcoholism is a inside thing. Maybe it’s time you try some legit group/ one on one therapy with a doctor to find out what’s wrong
Oh babe it’s gonna be okay! U just have to pick urself back up, u can’t sit n sulk n ur mess u kno.. everything is forgivable love! U got this I kno u can do it!
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Like so many have written above, I relapsed as well. Many times. Im not going to say beat yourself up, but you, like all of us need to hold yourself accountable. Reflect on the failure. Understand what happened. A very wise guy in my meetings who has 20+ years sober said “ doesn’t matter what else happens today, as long as I don’t drink, I can deal with everything else”
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You got this if u can’t do it on ur own go to treatment it definitely helped me have me a break from life and a chance of braking the cycle
Hope you’re feeling and doing better Katie. Feel free to reach out anytime!