I was asked to speak for 25 minutes on an online AA meeting. I soooo don’t think I am worthy of this. Despite the fact I have been cracking away at this for 10 years, did IOP, dealt with relapses, do Group sessions weekly, Therapy, i’m on two meds for cravings -
I am not invested in AA. I enjoy the meetings that I attend, I don’t have a sponsor not into working the 12 steps, even though I’m pretty sure I’ve worked them in these last 10 years without somebody coaching. The personal stories are what I connect with. I also do SMART Recovery meetings. I am a firm believer that there is no guaranteed path to sobriety. If you do AA by the 12 steps and you succeed, I applaud you. If you go go cold turkey, and you are able to do it, I applaud you. I am here for you whatever path you take.
I haven’t had much sober time under my belt since my last relapse, which is why I am reluctant to speak . Hitting about a month and a half right now. I have had 3 six month stretches, and many one month stretches here and there before I got serious about it and checked myself into an IOP when I lost my job last year.
On the flipside of all of that, I guess I am the exact guy that newcomers want to hear from.
I am a work in progress. Relapses are not something I plan on. Nor do I want to do one more time.
But I am human, and I am trying. Hard-core AA lifers have told me I’m not trying hard enough.
Well, I know that I understand this disease so much more over the last 10 years I’ve talked to hundreds of people. So my response to those guys is yes I am trying very hard.
That’s all. Thank you for listening.