i was clean.
…And now you aren’t? You can work on that. You aren’t a lost cause or morally bankrupt, so don’t treat yourself that way. Get up, dust yourself off and keep walking, friend. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, either. 
Sending virtual hugs.
Chechen is right we are on your side. That's why you joined us. We can't help if you don't let us. We sure as h-ll won't judge. We all been there 1 time or another. You couldn't have done anything we haven't done or heard. Please let us help