I was sober for 4 going on 5 years

Hotline
#1

I was sober for 4 going on 5 years. No more cravings wasn’t even thinking of heroin often and when I did it was easy to push out of my mind.

I’m successful now with a good job but I ended up relapsing. Only 1 month but I’m back on track.

Honestly, I’d still be using but asked my dealer to block me. I’m so glad I did but conflicted. When I want to use now the cravings are almost unbearable. I regret it but also am glad I did it because I can see it was necessary.

Just a little rant because I don’t know who to talk to.

18 Likes
#2

I'm ecstatic to hear this! I'm so proud of you for going the extra step to have your plug block you. That takes so much courage. You're doing a wonderful job, and a slip up has no reason to hold you back from the life you want.

3 Likes
#3

This is a tough one for me. Not sure how to help out. You’re doing the right thing by talking about it. Just hope you do the right things from here on out. Just one suggestion tho, instead of getting cop man to block you, how about you block him and anyone else you can get to cop for you by deleting their numbers for good. Or even get a new number or phone. Just a thought.

1 Like
#4

I did but I can unblock and remember the numbers. Use my phone for work so getting a new number would set me back but I’m thinking about seeing if my phone carrier can block numbers. I know after a few more weeks the cravings will get less and less but I just had to share with someone who might understand.

1 Like
#5

Trust me, I truly understand your situation. Have had long periods myself. This time around tho, was a complete give up and in. Went the compete get my chit together route. And it really feels good this time. Has taken a lot of foot work tho. And it’s gonna take a lot more. Yet, it’s till I leave this world sober this time. Got rid of anything in my path that could interfere. Not easy. But a lot better than I’d ever have thought possible. Praying to something or someone greater than helps the most. Good luck

1 Like
#6

Find some none using friends.na - aa meetings that will help you a lot. Aa. Org. N a. Org And these people care more then you no.love your self.

#7

Wow

#8

I truly appreciate you throwing up your honesty in your post...I can identify with your story alot. I had over a year clean from crack and I had a great job, in school and really getting me back learning to love me. Then life showed up. And one thing that sent me back out was the same people, places and things. My dealer giving me freebies cause I look good but the truth they didn't care but me cause they won't gave me the freebies. They missed my money cause they addiction is the sale and transactions. But I'm back on track still in school back working not quite there on loving me truly yet but I accept that its a process and your post just help me stay a little stronger in this process cause I know I'm not alone. So thanks for sharing and allowing me to share

3 Likes
#9

I’m so proud of you, heroin is rough to beat and it sneaks up on you when your least expecting it, it’s so hard to come back, sometimes we slip but its all about the resilience we have after the fact. Stay strong and if you ever want to talk feel free to reach out, honesty goes a long way and it’s important for new comers to hear this

#10

Wow! I’m inspired!

#11

Awesome!!!

#12

Michelle, I have watched my friends Niece do this for years and it wasn't good. She always relapsed and lied about it over and over. When she finally made her mind up she actually reached out to her family who had enough of trying to help for years. The difference you ask?
This time:
She walked to her Grandma's house and left everything behind (what she had left)
Left her boyfriend
Left her so called friends
Left her phone
Joined a recovery program w/ weekly testing
Set up a plan to follow under direction of her Grandma's house rules
Had chores daily
Plenty of rest
Curfew
Limited friends
Meal planning
You get the picture.
It worked!
She is finally clean with a great job and proud, healthy and its been 3 years. Bottom line is you have to walk away and have support in place. Go set up a daily support regime so you stay accountable at every turn day by day. Do not leave an open opportunity that you don't have a backup plan to support your goal.
Also, please watch Joel Osteen on YouTube for inspiration. He kept me on track when I felt tempted. I can't say how much it helped me. Honestly!

1 Like
#13

You’re making a lot of assumptions about my life. How do you know I haven’t reached out for help? I just shared that I blocked my plug and I was feeling regret but that was in the moment. One moment of my life. That does not mean I haven’t reached out to anyone.

1 Like
#14

thank you for being open and honest. i needed this. i am over 2years and the cravings went away but sometimes i think about getting high, fleeting thoughts. i sometimes think i can handle just getting high one day and it wont go back to the everyday past everyday. I’m glad you got sober again from the little relapse. someone with 30 years of sobriety told me, he doesnt fully trust someone with time until they relapsed once, thats not everyones story, but it makes since, i’m glad you are sober! I admire your resilience!

1 Like
#15

Hi Michelle- thank you for being open and honest. It all starts there. I know sometimes it feels we are being judged.. and sometimes we are and sometimes not. For me it was very hard to tell.

Most importantly, continue to speak your truth… share your pain.. your joy… your confusion or frustration. Better in than out.

We are here to listen and help in any way you need.

Hoping you feel safe and supported.

You are not alone. Thank you for your courage.

:pray::heart:

#16

Michelle, I meant no disrespect. I wasn't assuming about your life. My example was someone I watched very closely and realized that when she always had something or someone that was actively participating in her environment it was easier to stay on track within a tight circle. However, not judging you. Everyone has moments which is part of the recovery process. You are here and obviously making huge progress. Keep going strong.

#17

Keep at it Michelle!

#18

Yeah relapse is definitely part of recovery I’m better now i knew I needed time to get back in my usual routine so my brain would stop begging for it

#19

I’m very honest with my family and friends and have a tight group of sober friends. Reaching out can help but no one can help you unless you want to stop

2 Likes
#20

Addiction is shame based and self loathing is what we do best.
There is no shame in trying again and again if necessary, How amazing your ready to fight for your sobriety. And thanks for the reminder that sobriety is worth working for but it does take work and forgetting that can devastating consequences, I'm really inspired by your strength.