I went on a bender and this time I ended up spending two days in the hospital and losing a week of work - how....HOW did you find the motivation to stay sober? Because I know right now I absolutely do not want to drink, but what about when days have gone by and the cravings kick in. I want to remember how I feel right now. I don't ever want to go back.
5 Likes
I am too familiar with what you just said. For me, I just got tired of it. Tired of the sick cyclical cycle of insanity. I am also a member of AA and attend daily meetings and actively participate in my recovery. One day it will stick. Best of luck to you 
1 Like
If there was a pill you could take but you had to rest for an hour after and it helped you recover would you take it? That’s what I asked myself. The answer of course was yes. I go to daily zoom meetings. That’s my medicine. At first I thought where would I find time for meetings? I listen in on meetings while I’m cleaning or exercising. Sometimes i listen in the car while traveling. I look forward to meetings now. They give me what I need to make it through the day. All I have is today and I will take my “medicine “.
Perhaps journaling would help you. Writing all about this last experience - the pain, shame, etc. Recall what triggered you. How you were perhaps fooled into thinking you could just have a drink or two - but your allergic reaction kicked in and you couldn’t stop.  And then making goals - Sober goals. That’s a start…
The bottom helps
Sobriety has to stay a number 1 priority every day no matter how long you have been sober. My mental health got pretty bad last summer after a long period of chaos in my life and I ended up drinking 2 weeks short of 11 years sober. I now have 46 days sober and I am grateful for it every morning. You can do this and it probably won’t be easy but it is always easier than staying drunk.