I went out with a friend last night. Ive been contemplating not drinking anymore and i think i really need to. I should not have driven in the condition that I was in. I typically don’t but I did. I was rude to my husband when I got home. He is about two years sober and worried about me. I don’t drink daily but lately when I do I drink too much. I feel horrible today. The anxiety is awful. I’m not able to show up for my husband, our animals, my new job the way that I want to today. Alcohol takes so much away from me that doesn’t give me anything in return. I want this to be day one for me but I have so much worry about ways my life will change.
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I feel like I wrote this myself. I want today to be day one. My anxiety is so bad I’m scared to drive to work this morning. If you need someone to talk to (not that I’m the best for it) I’m here.
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A recent quote I saw:
“Sobriety / recovery is hard. Regrets are harder. Choose your hard”
For me, I’m tired of putting poison in my system. In sobriety I spend a lot more time outside - walking/hiking with my dog. That’s a lot more peaceful to me than sitting at a bar
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What you posted took a lot of courage & strength, so that’s a victory in and of itself! You don’t have to ever feel this way again, if you choose to start living a different way, we have all been there. Change is possible! Find a meeting, get plugged in, and take it a day at a time. You got this.