Totally hear ya! AA is not for everyone. I find it helpful to journal at
least a bit every day or two, and also keep my body engaged with my surroundings (eg walks, chores, skateboard, workouts, cooking, sunning, etc)
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Nothing wrong with not going! I'm almost 9 months sober and have never once been to a meeting! You sound like your doing great!
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I go strictly for the fellowship. 2 yr 9 mo sober with no sponsor and no steps. The group is so important. I got sober alone and went to AA six months in. Iām very glad I didnāt start on the AA program, not sure if itās for me. But the group is priceless.
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I do feel like I benefit from the speakers and going occasionally but these steps and the seriousness that they take with them is a bit overwhelming. Makes ne wanna run in the other direction 
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I'm seeing my sponsor today so we shall see...
You donāt need to work the steps or have a sponsor. The only requirement is a desire to stop. I would recommend going with that attitude and if you change your mind later, fine. If not, thatās ok too.
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Thank you so much for sharing. I do appreciate the connection in the rooms and on this app. I do think it's important to keep "shopping around" if you will. Try different groups,
& different programs to see what resonates best.
Thanks again
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Just the fact that you are seeing things differently tells a lot about how far you have come.
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Iām currently at my second attempt with recovery with alcohol. First time it was aa all the way. Now just sick of that life. Drinking for me eventually stopped myself from bettering myself. And when I realized thatā¦ and when that weight is lifted off you. Thatās what keeps me from not picking up ( 11 month )
Well that and I had a liver transplant on 07/28/2021
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I've been in aa for a lil over for years there are ups and down but aa always saves me in the end just have fun with meetings take what works and leave the rest
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There are as many pathways to recovery as there are people. I go to AA, work the steps, etc. i, too, find that dwelling on the past is unproductive once I worked through the resentments, forgiveness, and all of that. I choose to focus my sharing in meetings mostly on the present and future.
I also use SMART Recovery (Iām a facilitator), and I like their focus on the behavior and their science-based approach.
I use both, along with other components such as spirituality/church, running, and things like that because that is the program that works for ME.
Itās up to us to discover and implement our own program, because it looks different for almost every person.
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AA isnāt for everyone and you can stay sober without it! I stuck with my 90 in 90 when I got out of rehab and I do believe that that was very important, however I began to feel a lot of judgment and a feeling of, āwell if you donāt do this this and this, thereās no way youāll stay sober!ā So wait let me get this straight, my sobriety is in your hands not mine? The amount of times I go and sit at meetings instead of my own will to power through? I started to see it in a different light and so I stopped going, Iām 34 months sober and feel very strong within it, I definitely remember my last drink but I definitely celebrate all of my progress! I also am a loner so all eyes on me in a big support system doesnāt always work the way it does for other people. I just read, do some crafts, clean, lots of walks outside, listen to music, and I also look at every potential triggering situation as just another experience to get through, let my emotions flow and what will be will be, as long as I donāt drink itās been a good day! I hope my input helps, good luck to you on your journey! 
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You're not alone on this approach. I tried AA the first two weeks into my sobriety but quickly noticed that my biggest urges to drink only came when I was at meetings. It was odd. I also didn't really identify with the mass majority of people who seemingly only wanted to be defined for how kong they'd been sober. I don't want that to be my defining quality. I also felt like a lot of people looked down at me with condemnation if I simply questioned the process. As a new person, are we not there to ask questions and get answers? Superiority complexes are a often huge personality trait in alcoholics and I understand that better these days. At the time though, it was a huge turnoff. I turned to the program and sobriety in general because I wanted someone to teach me how to let light back into my very dark life. If I'm being honest, I met a lot of people those first couple of weeks who seemed like they only understood how to express sadness. I wasn't looking for sadness. I was looking for happiness and control in my life again. My mom who's been in the program for almost 30 years swore I'd repeat the cycle if I didn't "work it". Eight years later I hear her ask me all the time how I managed to get and stay sober and thrive through the hard parts of the "steps" without the crutch of AA there to take credit for it. Simply put, I wanted a better life at any cost. I still had to mend bridges and I still had a lot to learn about how my projections impacted others. I will still recommend AA to literally anyone wanting to get sober because I still believe in its capacity to help some people. I simply wasn't one of them. Stay humble!
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Some people prefer SMART recovery itās more cognitive behavioral therapy
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That's awesome! Keep that thing nice and healthy #jealous
This was amazing 
it resonates with where I am completely. Feeling the judgement of "you must do A, B, C or you won't stay sober" is where I raise my eyebrow... I know we are all different, and I see the value it brings to others. I'm just happy to see that it's possible to live this new life without going in this direction (only). Thnxā:boom:
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Love that! Thank you
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AA meetings helped save my life. I was told to go to meetings and take what you want and leave the rest behind. I tried a number of different meetings and met a lot of people until I found the meeting I was most comfortable in. You have to put your sobriety first and if that means changing the people you hang out with or changing the meeting then so be it.
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Youāre welcome 
I can say I did just that in early sobriety. I had a sponsor in NA and AA at the same time. I was going to recovery dharma and life at the hospital. I surrounded myself with recovery from all angles. Eventually AA took hold. But Iām still open minded about the other groups and because of that my spiritual experience has deepened. Iām here! Ask questions. I might not know everything but I could learn somethingā¦ happy sobriety
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Look up rule 62