I'd love some input!

Recovery
#1

I've been feeling extra off lately with AA. The more I go and connect with my sponsor, the more I question if this is the correct route for me.

Has anyone else experienced this?

I feel like my alcoholism had waves. Sometimes I stopped at 1-2 drinks, sometimes I didn't. Sometimes I went on binges in the past, and sometimes I had long stretches of sobriety.

I understand why AA wants you to remember the bs you did so you keep yourself from that first drink, but at the same time I don't find that productive.

Is the goal not to leave that behind and step into the better version of yourself? To get better and better every day at feeling the best you can?!

I don't know. I'm feeling quite out of place with it. I'm 80 days sober and have no desire to drink. I meditate every day (have been for 2 years now) and have done soooo much internal work to get me to this grounded place already.

What other tools have you found to be supportive in staying sober?

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#2

I went to AA for awhile. I got to a point where I didn't want to have to identify as an alcoholic everyday. It was like a chain around my neck. I found a program called Celebrate Recovery. I realized that I was walking around wearing those chains of a false identity. I had been freed from my addiction. I didn't have to identify as that. I could be free of that and still fully know I can't drink. If you haven't been to Celebrate Recovery meeting check one out. They have YouTube videos as well. Many steps are similar to AA or NA but you learn to work through your past, learn from it and leave it there. In the past.

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#3

I love that. I think that's what's making me uncomfortable. Having to identify as a drunk all the time. I'll definitely look into that! Thank you :purple_heart:

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#4

No problem. They have an app to help you find a meeting close to you. Its pretty cool. Depending on the size of the average group there will be a short worship service, a lesson then break into smaller groups. Testimony nights, with food and fellowship are always a fun night to. Yeah check it out and let me know what you think.

#5

Don't get hung up on the labels and terminology. Recovery is about admitting our progressive and fatal disease, committing to living differently, cleaning up our messes and helping others going forward. Gratitude is huge. If we focus on what we're missing out (fun) on or what we think we've given up (a normal social life) we miss the point entirely. We have been saved from a life based on lying and dysfunction.

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#6

The moment the program stops working is when you develop an attitude of indifference. Everyone feels the same way at some point, no matter how you’re feeling at the time, relatability is why the program works. Find a group that you love and can relate to. The fellowship as a whole isn’t necessarily represented by 1 home group. Keep your options and mind open. Good luck and lots of love 🫶🏻

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#7

I have similar feelings. I’ll be interested in seeing what the group says.

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#8

I got involved in a homegroup,helped out and chaired meetings. Being of service helps me get out of myself

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#9

Throughout the years I've noticed the difference in myself when I made it to a meeting regularly and stopped going. Like yeah i was staying sober but i was also surrounding myself with iffy sobriety. Like they were sober but once i removed myself from that group of people, I realized that they weren't the best ones for me to to

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#10

I use refuge recovery. To me personally it has been a better fit. We are all different in our needs and support. The online meetings are readily open and available. I found peace through the meditation and practicing of the pillars. Refugerecovery.org

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#11

Off topic but do you mind sharing the meditations you use? If you have a favorite or two, I’d love to try them.

#13

Service work and Fellowshipping a huge part of long term recovery. Good for you.

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#14

You're 80 days sober. What's not working? Seems to be working, no? It's a good place to make sober friends, real friendships, for alot of people who are "social drinkers", that is the hardest part, the isolation from bar people.

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#15

Colleen, welcome to Loosid. Congrats on 80 days! I remember when I had 80 days. I was in a residential treatment facility. I had the gift of desperation when I came to AA. I tried NA, life ring, recovery dharma and refuge recovery. All of them are great tools! Find a program that works for you and work it. I see so many people come in to the rooms and want instant gratification with no work. Recipe for relapse.

It’s sounds like you might not be an alcoholic. AA says to try some controlled drinking. I’m an alcoholic. I’ve tried to control my drinking. Sometimes I can, but most of the time I can’t. My ability to make rational decisions causes me bad behaviors. Then I harm others including myself. In the doctors opinion it states that I needed to forego an entire psychic change.
I completely agree and believe that. And 29 months later I feel blessed to have another chance at life. The people I’ve met, friends I have, and the family relationships I’ve mended is all a direct connection to me working the steps of AA. I don’t like everything in the rooms of AA. Some meetings are too structured and others are not structured at all. Some people are friendly and some are not. But when I show up it’s all about our common welfare. Unity depends on it.
Keep coming back. Try other recovery programs. Stay connected to others in sobriety who are working a program.

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#16

Check out SMART recovery

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#17

It’s really made a difference in my recovery. Great tools anyone can apply to life

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#18

I’ve used SMART tools in the past and was sober three years. SMART is enough as a stand alone for some, but I felt something was missing so now I’m getting into Refuge Recovery and Recovery Dharma. AA is not for all of us. Don’t let them bully you or tell you aren’t a real alcoholic, as they inevitably will. It’s ridiculous.

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#19

I tried AA before I ended up going into rehab and in all honesty, I didn’t connect with it like some people. They did have parts of AA in rehab but again, I didn’t connect with it — but at the end of the day, the way that I’ve managed to keep myself sober the past three years is the fact that I do look back and think of the things over done and the BS I put my family, BF and friends through.

I didn’t like that version of myself and honestly, that version of myself scares me. It’s what has kept me on the path I’ve been on, despite not going to AA, having a sponsor or still seeking therapy.

But I believe everyone handles their sobriety in different ways, and I definitely don’t knock them for whatever works. You just have to find out what works for you. :heart:

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#20

Of course it's helpful. Not saying it isn't. I only go maybe 1-2x a week and each time I feel a bit on the outside. Just looking for alternatives to the standard is all.

#21

Thank you! I'll check it out.

1 Like