My heart goes out to you. I too put my heart mind and soul into a person and then when he was gone alcohol became my best friend. It about killed me. Just want to encourage you to keep your head up and those 76 days are still there, keep going brother. Feel the devastating feelings, they won't last forever
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Heartbreaking to hear what you’ve going through. That said however, don’t use that as an excuse. It’s easy to drown out the pain with booze, but we all know that’s not any sort of solution. You need to speak to a mental health professional. Sounds trite, but if you broke your arm, you’d have it fixed by a doctor. Mental trauma is no joke. Think if you would be willing to trade the pain your experiencing now for a broken arm, (and I bet anything you would right?) so why is the mental anguish any less in need of professional assistance? Words to that effect were told to me when I was going through something similar, I followed the advice and sought counseling, and it helped immensely. I hope you’re doing better. Hang in there and reach out for help
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Thank you Brian
Codependency and addiction go hand in hand get help for both. There are support groups for just about everything we are pretty blessed today and never have to do it alone 
So sorry. I’ve walked in your shoes. Time will heal. Wishing you happiness on your journey
Praying for you, Brother! I’ve been in a similar situation where I didn’t want to go on nor did I feel as though I could! I put my worth in the hands of another. Only to be devastatingly disappointed! The anguish is unbearable. I couldn’t breathe. Then God said, nobody is perfect and if you put your faith, hope and trust in humans they will always disappoint you. But the Creator of the Heavems and Earth and everything in them knows you by name. Knew you before you were born. And is a faithful and loving father and friend. His love never wavers He never changes! He is the same today, yesterday and forevermore! If you call out to Him He will rescue you! Nothing can fill the void you have right now except His presence. Praying that you will have the revelation that our struggles are what He is using to refine is so that we can seek and find Him and then go and help another who needs it!! In Jesus’ name I pray amen