If anyone minds sharing, what thoughts or emotions went though you before a relapse? Did you feel a relapse coming before you actually did? Or was it an in the moment type of thing where u caved to the temptation? Was it a significant life change or event that drove u to relapse so you could cope? Or the physical craving was too much one day? I’ve experienced moments where a craving is so intense i call someone , or find myself missing the “fun” in ordering drinks or going to bars/ breweries despite knowing what it did , but i genuinely wonder the moments before a real relapse and what’s that like for other people
10 Likes
I was sober for 15 months before without support like AA or therapy….anyways I was miserable, I was just counting the days until I was able to drink again because “I’ve changed” I didn’t last a year of drinking before I realized it’s the same sht I put myself and others thru….. happy to be sober again and happy to struggle with it.
10 Likes
I’ve relapsed multiple times and I’ve found that boredom is a real killer for me, especially if I’m single. But I can’t really tell you what made me do it in the moment. It’s so different for everyone from what I can see. It could be a horrible day or a fantastic day and either can be a huge trigger. Basically if the thought “I’d really like a drink” crosses your mind you should call someone
5 Likes
I live with chronic pain. So each relapse has involved unbearable physical pain. Since I’m an addict I know healthcare is really no more help than the NSAID’s I have on hand. Which don’t work that well when the pain gets really high. So it’s sadly been a conscious decision and I can feel them coming on.
2 Likes
I was clean 9 years and never saw it coming… 
I’ve finally got back on track after a two year relapse. I am celebrating 6 months today.
11 Likes
For me, isolation leads to using. Today I stay connected. Go to meetings and talk about how I feel. I have a sponsor, a therapist, a psychiatrist, and a support group. I'm using every tool that's available to me to stay Clean.
3 Likes
I went 7 years dry in my early thirties. I was miserable, I made a decision to drink again, I had it in my mind that I could just be a normal drinker🤪 after all I had the will power to be dry. Three months after that I was drinking to blackout every time. So this time I knew I needed help. With outpatient and AA I now have three solid years of recovery. Now I can tell when old patterns are building and change my behavior before relapse is on my front porch
2 Likes
Congratulations on your sobriety 
2 Likes
For me I relapsed right when I got out of rehab I felt so good leaving the treatment center but when I got close to home I became overwhelmed with the urge to use. I knew I was having these thoughts but didn’t voice them so I definitely felt myself relapsing in my mind but wanted to be able to handle it myself so now I know when I feel that way I have to tell on myself
1 Like
I have found that relapses occur in response to a negative emotion, say an event at work or socially that causes anxiety, a feeling of loneliness, some type of adverse situation that I am going through. My brain automatically goes to weed or booze to avoid and solve that problem. Like for you the thought of ordering drinks at the bar could be in response to missing those social interactions today. I am in no way a model citizen on this but replacing that coping mechanism with something positive could overtime cause the brain to look elsewhere when something triggering comes along. Hopefully helpful
1 Like
Very similar. I’ve had moments when life was going great. Felt amazing. Was in good shape and wanted to go out and mingle. Other times being lonely, anxious, or perceived that someone did something wrong to me. Everything was just an excuse.
1 Like
For me, I’ll relapse mentally before I act on it. I have almost 2 1/2 yrs, and I have definitely hit some low points but never actually relapsed. My mental health is really the biggest driving factor that could lead to me relapsing. That’s why i have many mental health medications I’m on.. if the inside isn’t right nothing falls together.
1 Like
My big relapse had so many warning signs and I must have just ignored them. I moved about 400 miles away. I didn’t replace my counseling, sponsor, my meetings but I just thought that moving that far away would give me a fresh start. Wow was I wrong! I started drinking again. And then the thing that ended my drinking career was a second DUI. So it wasn’t really feelings that set me up. It was stupid choices. Hope that helps.
1 Like
I had a wonderful sobriety. At around the 5 year mark, we found out our daughter was going to be born with a heart defect. I stopped going to meetings & doing the things that kept me sober because I wanted to focus on my family. This was my big mistake.
It took a year or two, but I eventually relapsed in 2014. My daughter passed away that same year, and I went into a deep spiral that nearly cost me my life. By the grace of God, I found my way back to sobriety last May.
To answer your question, yes, I can look back now and see the warning signs and indicators. I learned that I can NEVER stop doing the things that keep me sober.
What keeps us sober changes with time, but we’ll always do things that support and strengthen our sobriety. For me, my faith is important, giving back is important, being part of an AA home group and facilitating a SMART meeting is important, my family is important, etc.
1 Like
What I told myself when I stopped doing my sober things was “I got this, I don’t need meetings to stay sober anymore, it’s more important that I take care of my family”. All of those are wrong. Staying sober is priority #1 for both myself and my family.
Your reply brought so much clarity to me! I feel like you just read my mind because i definitely feel like i have been missing those social interactions but i don’t voice it because I’m embarrassed that i still miss going out despite what it did to me , i never thought of replacing that with a positive coping mechanism, thank you so much
I’m so sorry for your loss, the k yo u so much for your share , I’m so glad you found your way back and hope you continue on this sober journey , sending hugs
1 Like
Every time I was fooled to believe that I had learned my lesson. That I had changed. That I could control it this time. That I’d done so good that I deserved a reward.
The most recent time was on an annual camping trip. I decided a good month or more beforehand that I could celebrate and let loose on that trip and then go back to not drinking when I got home. I lost a job and nearly my kids before I could crawl out and ask for help. And I still thought it was a moral problem. A lack of willpower.
It took therapy and 12 step WORK for me to learn that I was sick, not weak. And that I could not stop on my own.
Some people can stop. It amazes me, but it’s true. I know I couldn’t because if I could have, I would have decades ago.
1 Like
i cannot resonate or agree with this more. it was this for me. after i isolated myself from all my friends to get clean, it was that very thing that was catapulting and triggering me back in. I'm so glad there are other people that feel like this.
It’s a series of events that lead to a relapse.
For me it’s never been one specific thing.