If I’m being totally honest with myself, I’m really missing being a drunk tonight. Just being able to shut my brain off for a few hours. Trauma just gets to be so heavy.
Well I'm glad you are here and sharing it.
If you're anything like me hitting the shut-off switch from passing out just doesn't cut it anymore.
I'll take the next day feeling NO regrets, disappointments, resentment and self loathing anytime over going back out.
Stay well
1 Like
Try to find another outlet to release those feelings. No need to suppress them, like Duane said, you’ll be filled with much worse feelings tomorrow. Have you picked up any new hobbies since you got sober? What’s been helpful for me is to make a sober bucket list. It can be new things or stuff you only did while drinking. It can give you a new perspective.
1 Like
I started kickboxing this week. I’m going to try my best to stick with it.
There ya go, that’s great! Kick those feelings, literally.
I found that Fellowship is much stronger than any alcohol I have ever come across. Keep reaching out. Higher power will keep showing up in your life 
I’m grateful for your honesty. I’ve been slippin the last few months… making excuses for myself and testing the waters…. Like maybe I can control myself…. When I know from past experience that it never really turns out so we’ll. The trauma! Ugggh…. I hear you! It’s not easy processing through it all and sometimes it feels like it would just be easier to slip away for a while. But I’ve been trying that on these last few months. It’s the same old same. And adds more trauma to the pile to process. A good friend of mine said “name it and tame it” to me and it’s so powerful. Name that feeling & we tame it. Thank you for your honesty. It helps me know I’m not alone! Back to day one… better than one day! 
It is never easy to heal from trauma, so I'm not making light of your past. I do know that numbing is so much easier. Just remember how to take care of a cut. They used to believe that keeping it covered was best, and that puss was as a good thing. Now we know puss is infection. Trauma when covered by addiction just fostered and turns to bitterness and anger, which leads to more need to numb. Take the time to clean out your wounds and heal them. You will be so glad you did.