I'm 26 and I don't drink or like to be

Sober Curious
#1

I'm 26 and I don't drink or like to be around alcohol in bars or stay out late. How am I going to meet someone sober who wants to be with me?

6 Likes
#3

you can't even make a correct statement :roll_eyes: :unamused:

#4

Coming from you, that really hurts my feelings.

1 Like
#5

Sober people are out there and the right person will come along when the time is right! I’m the same way, don’t like bars or staying out late but eventually things will take a turn and someone good will walk into your life. I have a friend in NC and shes been wanting to meet new people that aren’t into the night life or drinking

2 Likes
#6

Thanks for this😊

1 Like
#7

I’m 24 & have felt that same way in the past, but the best thing I did was not go looking for a relationship. Sounds corny but I kinda just let fate run it’s course & ended up being in a great relationship with someone who wasn’t an addict, she only occasionally drank. Granted things only lasted 5 months, I was very happy while I was in the relationship. So trust me, things do work out! Congrats on your sobriety by the way, hope all is well

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#8

Awww, thanks for the advice :blush:

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#9

Go live the life you want. Do the things you want to do. That’s where you’ll find your partner.

If you don’t like bars or late nights, you’re not likely to meet you’re people in those places anyways.

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#10

Hi Julia, thanks for opening up and asking a valid and tough question.

Although my response is from a male frame of reference, it’s been my experience that people early in their sobriety (through AA) generally don’t make any big life or relationship changes until they have some quality sobriety and recovery experience under their belts. And male “old timers” generally don’t (and shouldn’t be) hitting on someone early in sobriety because of their vulnerability; it’s just not cool and can be very damaging to the person trying learn how to stay and live life sober.

All that said, there are many people who are genuinely living a good sober and spiritually fit life in recovery. These are the persons that truly understand how to demonstrate partnership and have a love for humanity. As was suggested in an earlier response - if you seek recovery and you do the things we do to stay sober AND you do the things in life that you are passionate about - then I truly believe the law of attraction will bring you in contact with the kind and loving people that you’ll be able to build and have many sober relationships with… be it platonic, romantic, or professional.

I hope this helps put your mind and heart a little bit at ease. Take care!

5 Likes
#12

Thanks :blush:

#13

This is so overwhelming, thanks

#14

Do you have a past with using bars/parties as your main social outlet? For me, bars were the main way I made friends, met woman, and entertained myself; finding a replacement has been difficult.

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#15

33 years old here and sober 9 months. Bars and nightlife was how I thought I was maintaining friendships and “meeting women.” Turns out nobody was my friend when I got sick and nobody stuck around when I decided to change. There are plenty of sober people out there who would love to meet you!

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#16

Well if i li ed in NC.... but in all seriousness,i get it. I personally dont care if i meet someone who drinks "normally", but if someones deal breaker is that you dont drink, there is probably going to me other issues. Good luck!

1 Like
#17

Thanks for the advice :blush:

#19

You will attract the right type of people on your life. Trust the process and cherish the friends who support your sober journey for now. The rest will follow eventually.

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#20

yeah

#21

Make a bumble/hinge account and specify that you prioritize sobriety. It will weed out the guys that aren’t on the same page as you.

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#22

You're only 26. Don't stress it. You'll meet LOTS of people throughout life. Some will stay for a while, some will be in and out. There will be an impossibly large amount of options for you to pursue or be pursued. Just try not to forget that you've got plenty of time - just focus on yourself in the meantime

#23

If those aren’t things you like to do then why would you want to meet someone who does those things? Go to places that you enjoy so you can meet people who do things you like doing

2 Likes