I'm grateful that this is just a cut from work...2 years ago, after my car was repossessed I wanted to die. It was my rock bottom after being evicted. I hadn't worked in 2 years so I was also broke. Worse than all of that, I was completely hopeless, and I used to say all the time that I had dug myself into such a hole that I could not see the light at the end of the tunnel. I used to question why God decided to take my cousin at the age of 35, rather than me, because I wanted to die. She has 2 small children. Why did you keep me alive? I have since not picked up a drink. Since September 11th 2022 and gotten to work I joined Alcoholics Anonymous. I found a sponsor I found a home group and I began reading the big book and I am actively working all 12 steps. I have six sponsees, one of which is sponsoring his first man. I have recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body every day. I pray and meditate. Try to remain in conscious contact with my higher power. I choose to call my higher power. God for lack of a better word but it was through working the steps and praying every day that I realized God had been with me the entire time. Even though I turned my back on him and first his name, I was 21 years old and my mom passed away. I have a newfound sense of inner peace and joy, and it is one of the greatest pleasures in life to be able to be of service to God and to other men and women trying to get and stay sober. I am grateful for many things, but most of all, my new relationship with a God of my understanding. He has delivered me from a hopeless state of mind and body. Thank you, God. 
If you want what I have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps. AA saved my life. (Apologies this was all voice text as I was walking for exercise and trying to post this on my lunch break)
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