I'm approaching my 3 year anniversary and while I feel

Recovery
#1

I'm approaching my 3 year anniversary and while I feel proud, I also feel this overwhelming emptiness. Truth is that I still use things to cope with life. I binge eat and binge watch shows and while most would think its normal behavior, I find it incredibly harmful. I wonder if I'll always need a crutch or if I can truly learn to look within myself to find safety, comfort, peace, companionship, and all the other things I seek from substances.

On another note, I've been thinking a lot about the void within. Most people have felt this void, no one seems to understand what it is, where it comes from, or how to heal it. Maybe its just part of the human experience... But I'd love to read anyone's perspective on the topic.

Sending love to all of u! :heart:

8 Likes
#2

Three years is such an incredible accomplishment, be proud of yourself for that. The emptiness you’re feeling is something many can relate to, and it takes courage to acknowledge it. Healing has valleys in the mountain tops, you exploring these feelings shows strength and self-awareness. :heart: keep going, keep growing and keep pushing through.

#3

I don’t know if you’re a religious or spiritual person, but this is my take on it, take it or leave it.
I felt such a void and emptiness in my life for awhile into sobriety. I didn’t start recovery until 8-9 months into sobriety. I tried to fill life with other substitutions, but it just put me further into debt and kept me isolated even more. When I finally hit my rock bottom, I realized I was trying to do everything, fix everything, fill everything on my own power and understanding and failing miserably. The void was a God sized hole, nothing else could fill it. Like I said I don’t know if you’re a believer, but that is what got me started in actually recovering. I had met someone that got me into CR, I started counseling and actually being honest with people about what’s going on instead of burying it in “I got this”. I wish you the best, and I hope you can find what fill that void for you in a positive way and help you get past it. Congratulations on almost 3 years though! It’s still worth it!

#4

Many of us don't see our progress because we keep raising the bar. There is no such thing as perfection, honey. As long as we keep working on ourselves, that's what matters.

#5

Congratulations on coming as far as you have.
It's not easy. You have done a lot of work.