I'm bored, anyone want to trade dad jokes?
Sure
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're so good at it
Why do elephants have red toenails?
So they can hide in apple trees.
Ever seen an elephant in an apple tree?
Works then.
Oh lawd.
I used to be a chronic procrastinator. My third grade teacher said I would never amount to anything. I told her, “just you wait”
Whats brown and rhymes with snoop?
DR. Dre
3 legged dog walks into a restaurant. He’s super angry and looking around. finally the host asks if he can help him.
Dog: yeah, I’m looking for the man that shot my paw
Panda walks into a diner. He sits down, orders and eats. The waiter brings over his check and he pulls out a gun and shoots them, then starts to walk out. The host yells at him to stop, which he replies, ‘I’m a panda, look it up’.
Panda definition: eats shoots and leaves
My niece was getting sassy last night, so I told her “there are cows sleeping in a field.”
She asked what that had to do with anything.
…"it's pasture bedtime."
Lol Steve with the fire
These are great!
I once met a super hero called Typo Man…
He was there to write all wrongs.
I dropped my vacuum cleaner off at goodwill today…
It was just collecting dust.