Im coming up on 14 months clean and I'm starting to go into relapse mode.I can feel it.I am talking to my pillars and going to meetings.I am feeling so alone. I have given up all my old friends and I am shy when I go to meetings.I'm trying to do everything I have learned in treatment and the 22 steps but I am still finding myself isolating and feeling like I'm not getting anywhere. I have regained my family and I have two beautiful grandchildren now in my life but I feel like I'm still a million miles away from any company.I hate being this lonely.Am I feeling like anyone else or am I just being a pity pot.
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12 steps
Hang in there it will get better.
You are not alone my friend.! Hang in there
I have a suggestion. When you go to meetings go grab the phone list. Call 3 people off the phone list and ask how they are doing. I understand you are shy. People in my meetings didn't know the sound of my voice for 7 months. It gets better. If no one has told you today. You are
- Loved
- Cherished
- Appreciated
- Safe
- Worth It
- With a bunch other addicts and alcoholics so you know you aren't alone.
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Ron, you’re not alone. How your feeling is common at certain points in time of sobriety. It’s our addict ego/disease that wants us lonely and miserable, so we relapse. It’s smart that you are sharing your feelings and thoughts.
Trust me it will pass! We don’t drink or pick up no matter what! Once this passes and it will, you’ll be stronger and wiser.
I’m here if you want to talk or have questions.
I'm assuming its alcohol you're referring to relapse about. A good suggestion that helped me is anytime I had cravings for vodka,I would eat something filling and high in protein. It fills you up and stops the brain from sensing an empty stomach ( I use to drink purposely on an empty stomach as calorie intake) Boredom is also a huge invitation to use. Keep busy around the house, attend meetings, go to a movie.
You just keep saying on the right path man you can and will do it 
I didn't know there were 22 steps. Im looking that one up. I have been to inpatient 4 times and I struggle to this day. Be proud and confident where you are today. You think those grandchildren would be in your life today if you weren't clean or sober? If you feel lonely pick up the phone or get involved with a volunteer program. Look towards the future 1 day at a time and maybe if you stay on your path, you can help others. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! I wish I had your strength. You got this! I have all my faith in someone I don't even know. U need an ear, message me.
It's great you sensed you've started on the slippery slope. Try to think back and figure out exactly when it started. That will increase awareness. Go to meetings and be ruthlessly honest. I am reminded of 2 old time AA sayings...
- Half measures availed us nothing.
- You can't save your face and your hindend at the same time.
You're bumping up against a need for new skills. No time like the present.
When you're at your next meeting consider saying "I'm in trouble," and ask for phone numbers or a temporary sponsor. You don't have to drink. It's not inevitable. You have to take action which is also not inevitable. You choose. Move toward life.