I'm feeling so isolated in program right now. I had 3 years 10 months and went out for 14 months. I left program in anger. I was trying to press charges against someone for sexual assault. It backfired in my face and I got accused of lying and bringing it on. I was so angry. When I hit a bottom after 14 months of constant drinking, I came back to program. I still am not connecting to people. I fell like an outcast still. I just hit a year again.
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I understand some of what you said. Personally. Being a woman with significant trauma in my recent past. Isolation is not good though. It’s not good for your recovery. May I ask if you have tried other programs? There’s more than AA. I attend NA. There is CA. I also sometimes go to SMART meetings and something based in Colorado called Advocates for Recovery. An all pathways to recovery organization.
Trying different ones might be helpful? Also maybe a women’s group for those that have experienced trauma, if that’s available where you live. Hugs. Congratulations on a year despite the problems. That’s amazing.
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I sit in rooms feeling like no one wants to be near me. I used to have friends before I got angry about the assault and left program. Coming back after the relapse has been so lonely. I know this is me. I just don't know how to move on from this feeling that I am alone in a group of people.
I don't identify as drug addict. I used at times when drinking. Never got the obsession and was able to stop at any point with ease. It wasn't my thing.
I line Heather’s idea if women’s meetings. You can also mix in some zoom meetings where no one knows of the past situation. One last thing, and please don’t take this personally. Is it possible that this disconnection is coming from a negative thought pattern in your head? This does happen sometimes. We project these feelings onto others, when in reality they don’t feel that way. Try to let go of those feelings. The past is the past. Practice moving forward with love and tolerance for yourself and others. Also, seeking therapy may help. Regardless, you need to stay sober, and get reconnected. You always have us here on Loosid. We are in your corner