I'm finding it very hard to stay sober while grieving over the loss of my Aunt. I mean I haven't used hard drugs or alcohol but the urges are there and the temptations are there too. Yesterday I was crying off and on and don't tell me to be strong because it's not that easy and I don't have to be strong. I'm grieving and I need time to grieve. My Aunt was like a mother to me over the year's after Wanda(biological mother)left when I was 12 and my Aunt stepped up more after my Dad passed away. My Aunt and I were really close and me being her first and oldest nephew meant we had a strong bond and I was special to my Aunt. She taught me how to slow dance when I was 7, taught me how to treat women and she taught me a lot more than Wanda ever did. My Aunt was always there for me and helped me out with money when I was in jail. The loss of my Aunt is breaking me inside. I lost a huge part of my heart and lost a huge part of my life. Friend's can be replaced but my Aunt can't ever be replaced
Losing a loved is difficult in sobriety. I lost two pets and a parent in an eleven month period of time and I used my program to help me with it
Hi Chris,
You are truly blessed to have been able to share those times with your aunt. She stepped up when you really needed someone to.
Today is my first day sober. I’ve stopped drinking in the past but would start again. In January I called the ambulance. They carted me off to the hospital where I spent two nights and 3 days. My stomach had to be cauterized in two places and I was given a blood transfusion. After that experience I started taking steps to curtail my drinking. I wasn’t ready to quit.
There’s a product I keep in the house called kava. It comes in many different forms. The one I use is like a Gatorade powder that I mix with water. Long story short, it gives a buzz and a calming feeling. Sometimes when I’d want to drink I would take the Kava instead. It really knocks the edge off and it’s non habit forming. Sometimes I just need that crutch until I can learn and develop my coping skills.
Good for you
If you feel like drinking or using try the kava. It may help. It can be had from Amazon or any vitamin shop.
I have my own way of staying sober. I drink 0% non-alcoholic beer
Outstanding!
As long as you have something! Something that works for you. 
First and foremost, my deepest condolences on losing someone who mattered so much to you. I've been there and it sucks. But I think it's critical and useful to point out that losing someone close to you is difficult for anyone. Whether we are in recovery and struggling to stay sober or not. This is not to minimize what you're going through. It isn't. But more so to point out that it only feels more difficult because the thing that we used to medicate and to numb these intense feelings is gone. We have chosen to remove it from our lives. It now feels heightened because we are experiencing these things with a sober heart and mind. And this is a good thing. It means you're recovering. It means that recovery IS working. Please try to remember that as you build strength and resilience to those urges and those lies we tell ourselves about how using to soften the pain will help us cope. You are coping in a healthy way. You are honoring her memory by living as I assume she would have wanted you to.
Actually I'm not finding that part hard...what I do find difficult is grieving over someone so close to my heart and I don't need people telling me how to cope with my feelings and emotions. I don't need people telling me how to grieve and stay sober because as hard as it is for me to stay sober, I'm obviously still clean and sober minus the weed. I don't have to be strong. I don't have to do my recovery the way everyone else does. I don't have to grieve the same way everyone else does. I need people to let me do what I need to do for myself no matter what it may be as long as I'm not drinking and using meth