I'm hating myself, i was sober a year and a half, going thru a divorce and started working at a resteraunt bar, i thought i could do it but recently started drinking again. I can feel myself becoming powerless. I know it will ruin my life. I have no friends in my new town that don't drink
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I know life feels heavy right now, and it’s exhausting to wake up every day feeling unhappy especially when the place that should feel safest, your marriage, feels painful or empty. Please remember this the way things feel today is not a permanent definition of your life or your worth.
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The fact that you were sober one year and a half is monumental. You know inside what to do. It is literally one day at a time.
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Stay strong
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Get to an AA meeting and you can find new friends
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I am glad you shared that and your courage to face your fear, and that's it faith over fear, your strong enough to tell us all, God bless us you made it this far by telling us. And again working at a restaurant bar, that's all in your stinking thinking, don't let the darkness pull you back in. Keep on shining 
Blessed 
Message me anytime ok, one day at a time
Yes it does work
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You sound like you’re doing this all by yourself with no help. I can see how this can become overwhelming and lonely. I did the same thing. Eventually life became so difficult ughh that I decided to drink again. I have done things differently this time. You can make a happy sober life for yourself, but you have to go get it. It doesn’t just come to you, and it’s most likely not going to find you at the restaurant bar. Recovery is an action word. I suggest you go to AA meetings and do 90 meetings in 90 days. Give it a chance. Most of us do not love it right away. However, if you go for 90 days, you may begin to make some sober friends to talk with…to go have lunch with…to go the movies or a concert. You can do it
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Keepin yu in my prayers 
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