I'm having a hard time coping with the damage I've done. Since I've quit drinking I've been taking great strides to heal myself for myself. But my marriage can't be mended and the pain from that loss makes seeing the good in all the other things difficult.
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In my sobriety I’ve learned that we are taking on the same stuff on top of sobriety without substance. So it’s going to seem unbearable at times because we’ve taken the substance and are feeling everything raw. Best advice I can give is one foot in front of the other. If you’re alive you can do it! Your rebuilding
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No matter what there is not a problem that drinking can fix. It only takes a moment to break the trust and harm a relationship, but it can take years to rebuild that trust...all may not be lost, but it will take time. The most important amends you can make is your change in behavior... good luck and God bless.
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Thanks Joe. This means a lot
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Give yourself some time. It took my wife months… MONTHS to start healing. The wreckage and havoc we caused for years just doesn’t just disappear. The best way to show you have been making changes or want to keep changing is to keep doing the next right thing. Apologies and promises won’t do anything yet… that’s why making amends is step 9 not 3. In early sobriety we are not equipped to make those amends yet. We haven’t learned the skills yet. Don’t take the steps out of order.. they are that way for a reason. If you follow the program and do it with vigilance it can work. Unfortunately there is no way to know if your marriage will survive… that is part of taking ownership of our mistakes and the hurricane that is our own brains. All you can do now is stay sober and be kind to yourself. Good luck bud.
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