The thought seem so real
I dont tell anyone because they will.look at me all craxy dp I am just trying to ignore it.. ugh
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Your not crazy, just sick. For me, in the beginning I did anything to keep myself busy. Cleaning cooking baking whatever.
Sara, the racing thoughts and crazy mind is the “dis-ease”. My addiction is cunning powerful and baffling. Without help it’s too much for me. That’s why I went to AA/NA meetings every morning and night, got sponsored and did the 12 steps. I read the Big Book every night when I got in bed until I fell asleep.
The above was and is my medicine. It really helped🙏
I’m here if you have any questions
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Hey don't forget we all have inner issues. The struggle is real and we need to be accepted and accountable for the actions. Don't have to ever beat yourself up over it. Yes it hurts 
but through consistent work and acceptance of our pain and faults will only strengthen our relationship with ourselves.
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You can message me I understand
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I’m really glad you posted this instead of holding in to it by yourself. Day 1 is hard extremely hard, and those thoughts can feel so convincing sometimes. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other today. Reach out 20 times if you have to. We're here for you