Why cant i ever just have fun? Why cant i have a good time? Why is my life so hard? I'm tired if trying. I've done nothing to deserve this and it's been this way since i was 10. It truly feels like I'm cursed. Exactly what lesson am i supposed to receive from this if it NEVER ends??? 
1 Like
Neat pic. It does get better. You're still here for a reason. I'll send prayers and some legit healing. You deserve to be happy, child!
1 Like
This might sting so prepare for it...
My first sponsor told me to stop asking why and ask what should I do to get better. She told me to get off my pity pot and stop inviting people to my pity party by asking all the "poor me" questions. Ouch that hurt! At one point she told me if I ask "Why does...." she was going to hang up on me because she refused to fed my pity. So guess what? I called her a few phone calls later I forgot about her suggestion and warning, I was feeling sorry for myself and I asked her "Why can't..." before I finished my sentence she hung up. I called back she didn't pick up, I called again, she didn't pick up. She called me an hour later and asked e if I was ready to ask a different question. That was the last time I asked "Why?".
Hope this made some sense...She gave me what I needed, a new perspective not pity.
3 Likes
Aleah, I too lived in a world of Why? for a very long time - why me? What did I do? Why won’t it stop? Why God are you punishing me? - it made me so much more miserable - it serves no purpose - I had a lot of work to do and I started imagining things in my life (big and small) going well and believing it - and they did - slowly at first and then in abundance - your perspective has to change for this to happen - it sounds silly but when your focus changes from negative to positive, great things start happening - best of luck
1 Like
You are not a victim you’re a survivor!! Keep shining 
For sure your health is going to improve if you stay sober you should not suffer with arthritis like I do.
I love this. What a great sponsor. I needed someone like that 20 years ago. She was teaching you to stand on your own two feet. Thanks for sharing that.
Some really good advice here. If I can add to it Aleah… there was a time when everything felt completely hopeless. I made such a big mess and wasted so much time I never thought I could ever dig my way out of it…. But I did. And I continue to do so today. What helped? I had to also stop asking why and start trusting this process. I leaned into others just like you’re doing now and instead of thinking they knew nothing I just did what they said. I kept showing up, built a foundation under me (12 steps) is a great way to start and I kept going. Therapy, programs, read books, listened to podcasts, and found gems in others stories that I could use in mine.
No matter where you are right now, it’s going to get better. Stand up tall and pat yourself on the back and tell yourself if it’s only me and you, I got your back you’ll dig your way out too. You got this!