Im struggling. Right now. I relapsed again and have had

Struggling Help
#1

Im struggling. Right now. I relapsed again and have had a write off of a day. I’m so tired… I have been screamed at, intimidated, shouted down, cussed out, had water thrown on me, and then gaslighted.. it’s all my fault. “The reason I yell is because you… “
Trying really hard to choose the right option here. I really want to just get higher and higher and screw all of this. I feel so beat down and worthless. May as well just be the useless piece of junk he calls me. Wish I had someone to talk to rn. Feeling pretty hopeless. :disappointed:

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#3

I’m so sorry

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#4

FYI I’m happy to talk

#5

Thank you. You’re so kind. It’s my ex, I honestly stay away but when my addiction takes over I accept being treated like absolute poo so I can get what I need. Then I need more to cope with the abuse. I just don’t know how to get out of this cycle. He’s just so mean for no reason, and you cant reason with the logic because there is no logic due to drugs.

#7

So co dependency to get your fix is more important than your self esteem and self worth, doesn’t sound like a good idea to me sweetheart. You need to get a good program going and find yourself a good sponsor and support system before this leads you to a place of destruction, and I’m speaking from my experience and my professional opinion. :pray:

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#8

I had to get sick & tired of feeling worthless and of the vicious hangovers. Finally I got serious about my sobriety and went all in.
Hopefully you can too. You deserve much better.

#9

Good morning Sara

Please give yourself a break. Understand this is a process. And sometimes we fall just get back up and do your best today.

Remember, you are not alone in this journey anymore. 

#10

I was in a similar situation. Gut it as swiftly as you can. It seems impossible when you’re stuck in the quicksand.. I know it. But your mind is being warped, it might not even feel like it belongs to you.. Don’t go back to HIM for it.. I’ve realized lately I might be attached to my own pain.. I’m learning the tools to help

#11

I'm in agreement that you're DRINKING AND USING CAREER HAS BEEN RUINED AND RECOVERY HAS BECOME VERY PERSONAL FOR YOU. If you need to SEPARATE YOURSELF FROM TOXIC PEOPLE for awhile. Do that. You may be in this moment that seems overwhelming. . Give yourself a Chance to get Sober and stay that way. You will make it.

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