Yeah tell me about it I never thought I’d have to so much as a craving for chips or drug about what happen just saying pinnacles
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I feel much the same way, the best advice that I can offer (while trying to follow) is to get numbers and call folks in the program.
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I'm at a meeting right now waiting for it to start with my PRS and have 73 days in today. I'm still struggling but I'm hanging in there.
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Don’t leave until the miracle happens.
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Ask your Higher Power for help. I find that all things are possible with God. Pray, write about your feelings, talk about your feelings. Remember they are only feelings and thoughts and they will not kill you. Drugs and alcohol will kill you
Keep going buddy. Virtually hug. You are enough, and you are powerful!
Just taking one suggestion will get the momentum going to take many more 
Attend an online na meeting!
Tonight will pass.
Have y'all ever tried to go on YouTube and listen to guided meditation? You should because it helps tremendously! Like I can listen to it for 2 minutes and just be out. I'm praying for you all!
Depression sucks. It is rarely a "pull yourself up by your boot straps" thing. There is no shame in getting help from the medical community. In fact, statistically, more alcoholics commit suicide dry, than drinking. Detox is no joke. We all need help, especially at first. Our gray matter sometimes needs medical attention, during early sobriety, until chemicals in our brains can stabilize.
I deal with that everyday. I know it’s hard.