Im struggling with the fact my brother has been using me as a ‘detox.’ He comes by and says he wants to be sober. I jump to help because i want that so bad. And then after a few days of getting good sleep and some food…he leaves…to the streets again. I know i cant keep doing this. Im hindering him, jeopardizing my home, and hurting my own heart and mind. I love him. I know its time to love him from a distance. It just kills me…
Boundaries can be so tough when you love someone so much and want the best for them. If it’s troubling you, triggering you, robbing your oeace. You might have to lay them boundaries down and start to give him ultimatums. He just might take it. Stay in touch k
Thank you so much. He has been calling from random numbers ever since he left the program this last time a couple weeks ago. He hasn’t directly told me. I had to call the program to verify what my heart knew. I ask him where he is. He keeps saying that’s why he wants to come over-to tell me. I keep avoiding that part. I don’t want him thinking I am a revolving door again. But it is hurting me. The fact I understand his side too, as a recovering addict myself…
Makes it so much worse. Because I know it isn’t him.
I wish I had words of encouragement. I been in the same situation with my daughter. I found out there no reason to play the game with an active addict. I stepped away from my daughter until her actions lined up with her mouth. Good luck you can pm anytime
Next time he claims to want sobriety tell him “you can’t stay here it affect my well being but I’ll be glad to take you to detox”. Set your boundaries and stick to them.
Then why dont you try this with your brother. Tell him ehen you have 30 days in soberiaty then call me but untill then its on you. Remember life is what lies ahead, today and tomorrow are yet to be said, the chances the changes are all yours to make , the mold of your life is in your hands to break
Thank you so much for this! I know I need to step away. I think I am holding onto the guilt of him even starting on the drug life was to chase after me. I just wish he would chase after me now…into sobriety…so he can really live.
I think I will do this! It seems fair and not unreasonable. Thank you!