I'm suffering I keep messing up I feel useless ashamed and feel like giving up I am just a f### up I lose jobs friends and lie about addiction for fear of people not liking me I suffer from manic depression I try to stop myself but I can't I keep going over losing money I really need please someone I need to talk
I remember feeling that way. Have you joined a program of any kind? Talked to a doctor? Both would be advisable.
No I haven't joined any programs yet I talk to a doctor but I quit going I no that would be advisable Im just at my witts end I try so hard but I have no friends here and the loneliness is killing me I need to get help or I'm going to kill myself with this addiction . I think you for chatting with me I needed someone who understands without judgement
I sent you a dm
This is the best place to be right now. Seriously, all you have is upwards to go. You seem to be on the bottom which is great because climbing back up into the light is not as hard you think. Sure it looks high and impossible from where youre standing right now but imagine in a day then 2 days and a WEEEK. Pfft your gonna look back and tell yourself, "WOw I sure covered some ground and got pretty far. The first couple days is the worst because you're now using those muscles (believing in yourself and knowing you have the strength) you haven't in along time. Once you start exercising them more and continue to climb, it gets a lot easier. I speak only from experience. We all have our own bottom but I hit mine pretty low. I thought I was never going to stop falling to be honest. I'm so glad I did though. It really made me a believer in myself. Which is why I believe you can do this too. Just don't forget to stop being so hard on yourself we all make mistakes. Some worst than others but they still are a mistake. Take it easy and don't forget to look in the mirror from time to time and really give yourself a good pep talk..tell yourself "youre strong beautiful worthy and most of all I believe in you. Which is why I love you." Start loving yourself more and really let yourself know it too. That's the only one who will truly be there for you once you start believing.. best to you. Ciao
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Tommy thank you for those beautiful words of encouragement I really never ever loved myself and also never believed in myself my life has been full of negative thoughts about myself and life to tell the truth I never ever finish what I ever started imagine living life that way ..I'm not making excuse for sympathy that is the real truth.. But I can't wait to feel like I finally achieve something in my life ..
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You will once you learn to push the negativity out. Remember, "be down for the minute but not the day, because life as so much to offer you today and you shouldn't miss out." It will all come together. You have to believe that though. Words of encouragement are great but putting it all into action is the key to happiness. I'm not going to lie it is very hard in the beginning because all you want to do is doubt yourself. Remind yourself of the bad times and why you feel you deserve to feel awful. Don't make excuses for yourself. It will only set you back further. Motivate yourself with kind words and thoughts. Moments in time where you made a person's day, did something good that no one knew about, and how much you used to love yourself. Because we have all done and had those moments at least once in our life. Keep your head up and know that no one is perfect. We all make mistakes but when you learn from them it's called "growth." Again, best to you and start becoming your own best friend first.
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Thank you ..
Own the day don't let it own you. You got this..
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Tommy thanks again is it ok to text you when I feel I'm going to relapse or if I just need positive feed back on this app I really feel I can do this !!!!
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That's fine but remember when you decide to relapse no one can talk you out of that except yourself. You have to remind yourself of the lows you hit, pain it caused but most of all what you have sacrificed for it. That's the only thing that will keep you from making another bad choice. Like I keep saying you have to start believing in yourself so you can build YOU back up when you are feeling down. Believing that you can do it is the first start. Congratulations on making that choice. Don't be hard on yourself and go slow. It's not a race because life's not a destination, it's a journey.
Tommy thank you again I will re read these messages everyday until I get it right I no I can do this one minute at a time you taught me that today I was trying to get through the day but it is more logical to baby step
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Please don't give me any credit. I just voiced my opinions. It was all you. To many times people in sobriety like to count the days. That's nice but what counts is the days you go to sleep sober. Remember that and you'll be ok.
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Dear Renée, if some one were to throw you a lifeline, what would it be. I was where you are and no one threw me one. It got so bad I did eventually call 911. They came and took me to the hospital. The care I received from those doctors and nurses was so amazing, I did not want to be discharged. I hadn't felt care or kindness like that in years. Is this where you are now? Keep reaching out here. There are good and decent people here that understand you because they've lived right where you are. Many here have looked in the mirror and felt disgust at the image staring back at them. So to start, you must begin to be gentle with yourself. To accept you imperfections and desire change. We here are not unlike weather surrounding you yet unable to touch you and console you. We do it with the only tool we have, thought and words of kindness and encouragement. Be well Renée.