These holiday weekends are especially tough for me because we are having company and alcohol will be around. I'm going to take a shot at mocktails and hope that no one asks any questions. I think as long as I have "a drink" in my hand, no one will point out the obvious. I genuinely just want to take care of myself and be happy with sobriety. I really need to start looking for a new crowd of friends; everyone I know drinks to have a good time. I just want to learn to have a good time without the drink. I see myself journaling a lot of the next few days.
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Don't worry about what other people think. They just want you to make an a$$ of yourself like they are. It doesn't matter what you're drinking. It's YOUR life, not theirs.
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The irony is that I bet some of those friends wish they could stop. You might be surprised when they learn of your new journey. True friends will respect your choice.
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Thank you for that perspective. That actually makes me feel more positive 
Just like me, I'm sure there are some who hide their struggles well. Maybe I will consider being vocal about it. I may learn something about those I'm spending the weekend with.
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I don’t hide my struggles when it comes to alcohol. At this point I avoid big drinking crowds. I haven’t seen some family members in a long time. Honestly, being in sobriety I realize the thing we had in common was drinking and pot. I just avoid now. Alcoholism is in my family. My brother died at 33. Yellow. I have gained some much I don’t want to lose it again. Family members are not talking to me now but hey One Day At A Time for me. Not easy but doable. Stay strong reach out.
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I don't like the idea of hiding the truth... I just feel embarrassed bc I know a lot of people look up to me in the way of strength. I've endured many other struggles over time and came out better.... at least after I hit rock bottom. I feel as if I may let people down... or make them feel like I'm some sort of fraud... like I used a crutch this whole time and that is actually the truth. I am really carrying a lot of mental weight.
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ODAAT
Eventually you won't care what people think (actually you'll realize they DON'T think about your drinking at all) but in the beginning everyone does. Do what you have to so you feel like you can engage. Better than sneaking drinks!
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Finding a safe space away from the party or guests will help. I usually keep busy cooking, hosting, play with kids / pets, activities/games
For me I get urges when I stand around with the same friends for too long
Conversation starts to bore me and I notice their drinking
Good luck
Worst case go for a drive run errands “for the party” to get away for a bit
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That's good advice. Thank you.
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Pelligrino with lime
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All of the above is fantastic. The only thing I suggest is to be weary of “mocktails”. Alcohol is cunning, baffling and powerful and will tell us to go ahead and have the real thing. We deserve it. And it’s possible someone may end up giving you a real one. For me, a fake margarita is a big fat trigger to having a real one so I choose to have no fake drinks. 
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One more thing….ALWAYS have a exit plan. Take an Uber if you have to get away and don’t have a car.
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Thank you for that suggestion. I certainly see where that could be a step in the wrong direction; especially so early on. Maybe just some sparkling water with some fruit would be a better choice.
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I am at a point where I let ppl know that I no longer drink. I feel honestly is the best approach. There has to be others in your crowd that know they need to quit also. Don’t hide your strength!
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Loving all the suggestions here. I’m very concerned about our July 4th party also! We can do this Addy Lee!
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Inevitably , someone will say “whatcha drinking “ ooh can I have a taste” at that point …. Just own it and stand tall “ it’s a refreshing mix I made up !” And if it gets to “what’s in it?” Tell them ! Club soda, lime juice w a splash of cran” “so good!” It will get easier and people will catch on that ur not drinking . I recently was told, “ hey I noticed ur not drinking tonight? “ my response ? “ nope , 2 years 3 months and I feel amazing! “
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I cannot possibly know your situation, but in my situation, when I was first powering through sober weekends and gatherings, I was not shy about it.
My favorite line used to be “I’ve already had enough to drink thank you”. As time went on I grew more confident in my sobriety.
And to this day the ppl who aren’t comfortable with my sobriety are the people who are in denial of their own issues. So if someone is pushing you to drink, it’s because misery loves company.
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Words of encouragement, thank you. I really like that line. I may have to use that bc it really is not far from the actual truth.
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By all means.
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