Relapsing over & over has gotten so annoying. That convincing voice in my head knows exactly wt to say. I know i can be better. Living with my alcoholic father also makes things harder especially when i start to feel like im gettn a grip ...ill finally detox nd start feeling free ... then bam here comes the one thing i do not want to do but end up doing sny way despite how many times i told myself i was done!
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Idk if it works for everybody and idk if its healthy but im 33 and I have 8 months clean and sober. Ive been to rehab multiple times n the longest time I had trying to work the program was 6 months and it didn't work for me. Anger and heard headed are my 2 strongest qualities aside from bein an alcoholic... I focused all that in the same direction at big pharma the alcohol companies and everything that made substances easy to access for a 15 year old kid and made me think it was normal to be the way I am. Its not normal to wake up to a needle in my arm or a bottle in hand. I'm not gonna lie its not easy being angry all the time but being sober is the best thing ive ever done and im a little less angry everyday and a little more forgiving. Not sure if this works for everybody but this is the longest ive been sober since I was 14. Good luck I hope this helps.
Get a sponsor and reach out
Pray !
I can so relate Victoria. I know alcohol doesn't help me at all, any dopamine rush and cortisol drop is flipped the very next day, and I've had a tendency to stay in a binge until I finally just tough out the hangover, and sure enough in a few days feel better. We don't have to relapse for sure, today let's refuse to together.
It's not out of weakness, but part of our brain being strong and thinking there must be something there, and disagreeing with our conscious mind. When I realize that this is an illusion it's much easier for me.
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You just won't want it. That's how it works. Surrender. You're important.
Relapsing feels like hitting a brick wall over and over, I know that frustration.
But you know you can be better, that flicker of hope is what we build on. The wanting it so bad, no matter what’s pops up to discourage you. Your story is far from over, and each time you pick yourself up, you learn something new, even if it's just how sneaky that voice can be. KEEP GOING
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Did you try AA? It worked for me.