I'm working on my 8th step. My sponsor said I have to put myself at the top of the list and I really struggle with forgiving myself. I was writing letters to my 3 step sons I tried to help raise with my ex and I felt so sad. So much regret. 10 years of trying to love them and failing miserably. I know I did the best I could with what I had, but it's still painful to look back at it. That's where I am today. The struggle is real one day at a time.
6 Likes
To quote the great Yoda, āReal The Struggle Is.ā
Iām up NorCal way, Hi.
1 Like
Goodness, my friend 
I relate to this pain and this difficulty forgiving myself. H3ll, I don't even think that I should be forgiven for the pain that my sons experienced growing up.
It's a long drawn out story, but it's the same, in essence.
1 Like
Service helped me forgive myself. Tons of service, amends and living amends. It takes some time but it works, for sure.
1 Like
Trinity listen to the suggestions from your sponsor. I facilitate a step 1-8 workshop. Putting yourself first is crucial. We need to forgive ourselves before we forgive others.
You did the best you could have done with the tools that you had available to you at the time.
2 Likes
I relate and empathize! Iām on my eighth step also and have been putting it off for a long time. I promise the feeling you (and I) will get once itās done will be so much more valuable than we even realize at this moment! My sponsor said after taking her 12th step she definitely had the āspiritual experienceā and thatās what keeps me motivated and going when things get hard. Albeit, Iām sure that looks different for everyone but still! Keep going, youāre worth it!
1 Like
Thanks for sharing. Someone wise told me āyou only knew what you knewā. You arenāt responsible for your addiction, but you are responsible for your recovery. Continue doing the next right thing buddy. Much love.
1 Like