I want to take a few minutes today to share my experience with this phase of my sober journey. When I came to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I was not even thinking of a higher power, God, or anything other then how can I get my life back.
11-26-19 is my sobriety date. Third time getting sober.
Since I’ve entered in sobriety this time, I’ve had multiple spiritual experiences/awakenings. They sometimes were loud and in my face. Others times they were soft and almost invisible.
I went from no God, to GUS (Great Universal Spirit) to now relying upon God to guide me through all of my situations in life.
One might ask, How did you get to this point? Great question! I had a rock bottom that put so much fear in me that something greater then myself could have only pulled me out of. Did I know that at that time, no. It took every ounce of energy I had to live one day at a time. IOP groups, residential treatment, therapy, AA meetings, NA meetings, Recovery Dharma meetings, DBT skills classes and Zoom meetings.
I felt weird praying in the beginning. Meditation was difficult as my mind would race with ridiculous and scary thoughts. I would ask GUS for help. I would keep showing up to meetings and share my struggles. I had no solution at that time. I would listen to those speak at meetings. 9 times out of 10 I’d hear a message that I needed to hear exactly at that moment in time.
One day about 12 months or more into my sobriety something clicked in my head. And I went from GUS to God with these strong feelings of wanting to know more about Jesus. This may have been a seed planted in my head back in residential treatment as we had to go to church on Sundays. I went inside and listened to the sermon four weeks that is was in treatment. Today I pray. I pray in public before each meal when I’m at a restaurant or at work before I eat lunch. I pray for those who still struggle, my friends, my enemies, my family, and my job sites. I ask God questions. I say Thank you for the good and the bad. I’m not perfect. I still forget to pray before I eat once in awhile. They say practice makes habit! Each morning I wake up I give thanks for another day at life. I ask for guidance and plan my day. Throughout the day I’m putting God first. I’m doing my best to receive his guidance through intuition. I try to stay in the present as much as possible. At night I like to write down my daily reprieve (aka journaling). This gives me a chance to review my day. To see where my behaviors may have gotten off course. I can look to see if I owe an apology. Maybe I had some fear sneak up on me. Or I was dishonest or selfish. Did I add to the stream of life? Was I being kind and loving towards all?what could I do better? Is there anything I need to discuss at once with another person (sponsor)? Did I call at least 5 other alcoholics to see how there day went?
It’s this phase right here that has brought me closer to God and God’s will for me. I no longer have to fight life! I’m right where I’m supposed to be.
Meditation has helped a tremendous amount with conscious contact. Sitting in a quiet place for a few minutes thinking only of my higher power. Asking question. Inviting God to be present with me. I can honestly say that my energy vibration has changed so much that I’m constantly attracting others who are on that same energy path. And strengthening the current relationships.
Let the community know what your doing to improve your conscious contact with your higher power? You just might change how someone views God or Gus or their Creator. And how to tap into the spirit world.
The picture is the view at work today! Thank you God for giving me another chance at life!
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