Internal debate going on inside my head. I have friends

Recovery
#1

Internal debate going on inside my head. I have friends that always get ahold of me for drinks or what have you. One just contacted me and said she can’t wait for Hemingway (my cat) and myself to go hang out this summer with the cats in a play pen outside sipping cocktails…. How do you even begin to explain this journey to friends? I wish I had friends that had better ideas than just drinking…. I’m plant motivated and obsessed but lately have been in literally the darkest hole I could find not doing anything productive but work…I’m not myself, I’m moody, I’m quiet, I’m short tempered, I’m a walking hazard that can’t get out of his own way…

This post started with one question that Segway’d into a whole different topic :man_facepalming:t2: welcome to my head :upside_down_face::man_facepalming:t2::grimacing:

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#2

For me personally, I had to retrain my brain. Telling myself sipping cocktails, having meaningless conversations, and wasting time kind of sucks. You can gain so much more from positive, productive interactions with the right people. If she can hang out with the sober you and not pressure you to drink, so be it, but just be honest and explain you value yourself more than time wasted on alcohol and BS.
Idk if this helps, but good luck anyhow :+1:

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#3

Honestly bro, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. If your friend decided to quit drinking, she doesn’t owe you an explanation either. There’s no problem telling people that you’ve quit so they understand why you’re not drinking. If it’s a problem for them after that, you have to analyze the friendship. My close friends who I’ve told have all been supportive and don’t push anything on me. I go to bars with them, order a club soda and still have fun. Anyone outside of my circle I just tell them I’m allergic to alcohol and they immediately back off.

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#4

Always always always advocate for yourself! You’d be surprised how many friends are actually understanding. My best friend knows about my journey but I’ve always smoked weed. Recently found out that thc stops the SSRI (antidepressant) that I’m on from metabolizing properly and can cause all sorts of serotonin related issues.

I told this to my friend and he said “so did they take you off it and prescribe something else?” And I said “🫢😂 no, it means I have to stop smoking”

I also explained that I trust him, and if I ever fold and ask to smoke with him or take a hit that he has to remember that my entire life will unfold behind that ish. And he was so understanding and said that he’s not even going to smoke in the car with me anymore. And now, 9 times out of 10 he makes it a point to smoke before I get there (he will tell me come in 30 minutes or so if I say I’m on my way before he smokes).

Communicating what you’re going through to your friends can work wonders in some cases. Don’t convince or tell yourself that nobody understands. Try communicating and find out who does and who doesn’t, and who doesn’t understand, but is really trying to understand. 2 out of 3 can stay around. 1 has to go.

We are all capable of having and being better friends to the people in our lives if we just work on trying to communicate better. Especially because we all don’t interface with alcohol the same way. Give it a try. In some cases you’ll be disappointed, in some cases, you would be surprised.

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#5

The worst thing we do is live in our heads….. it’s a struggle for sure! Hang in there Nicholas…. Seek therapy asap …. Any form

#6

This is actually :100: true, and I like the way you responded. After reading what you said I feel better. I have never been the best with opening up, but i know I need to work on that. I think the part that gets me is the first part, admitting to someone that you have a problem

#7

Retraining my brain is definitely going to be difficult, but I have been trying to surround myself with a more secure circle lately, this particular friend is actually one of my best friends and I am just nervous to say what I’m going through and have her know. It could be a very positive thing though and she could be a great outlet for me. I just have a hard time letting those close to me see the inner side that goes unseen

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#8

What I have found is that when I tell someone that I’ve quit drinking because I have a problem with it, they are usually people that have a problem as well, but have not quit. Not saying your friend is like this, but if she is, you shouldn’t be worried about her reaction.

#9

I’ve never looked at it that way, I generally worry or overthink too much. I’m going to open up to her

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#10

Talked with my friend and she fully supports me and is proud of me :joy: feeling much better now!

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#11

Well that was easy!! LOL

#12

Lol I tend to be a very optimistic person about everything except myself, one step in the right direction :hugs:

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#13

Nicholas that’s why this is important changing people, places , and things in one’s life is so important. Finding a new circle of friends is extremely important because your really trying to better your life without drinking or using. Not until your real friends understand that , that’s not the life you want for yourself anymore. Then you will know who your real friends are. Sober people are fun to be around because we get it. Get a sponsor, surround yourself with positive people go to outside meetings go for coffee, hangout fellowship it’s such an amazing feeling to be free and to know that you didn’t have to drink or use today and it be ok. Sobriety rocks!! Your worthy of this change, make it your priority, you matter, your loved and you rock!! Set boundaries for yourself you don’t have to be alone, depressed, isolated. I’m telling you you have a community behind you who cares. Who’s supporting you through this time in your life!! Sending Good vibes :sunglasses: Cindy :purple_heart:

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#14

So if Nicholas is talking to Nicholas and Nicholas doesn't have any answers for Nicholas, you have to get the f... Out of There?:upside_down_face: Go to a meeting, call a friend, don't pick :pick: up!