Introductions and Questions

Recovery
#1

Hello everybody, I just wanted to introduce myself. My name is Alicia and I am an alcoholic. I currently have 22 days sober, and I am in a partial-hospitalization program during the day to help maintain my sobriety and learn about my addiction. I want nothing more than to be sober for the rest of my life, as alcohol ruined everything that I had! I have a few questions for y’all:

  1. Does anybody feel intense anger towards non-alcoholics/addicts? Like, how can you have 1 or 2 drinks and be able to go home and go to sleep? Do you not feel the intense urge to drink until blackout? Why are they this way, but we are not? I struggle to understand why my brain can’t function like this, and I’m unsure where to redirect the anger.

  2. Does anybody have experience with Gabapentin, Naltrexone and Antabuse? I started Gabapentin 22 days ago to ward off the withdrawal seizures, but I continue to take it as I feel it helps with anxiety. Is this true for anyone else? Also, does the nausea from Naltrexone eventually go away? I’ve heard it can take time, but I see mixed reviews online. I begin Antabuse tomorrow, and I was curious to see if it benefitted anybody else.

It’s so nice to meet you all, and if anybody wants to connect feel free to shoot me a message! I don’t currently have any sober friends other than my parents and PHP group-mates, so all of the sober support would mean the world to me!

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#2

Welcome!! It’s great that you are here asking questions and searching for solutions. As to your first question, yes I did feel this way when I first got sober. I was 24, and felt like my life was over. Even as I built up a nice life, and was grateful to not drink…I still felt uncomfortable watching friends and family “have fun”. It takes time to accept all of this. I found it really helped to find my people. I found them in A.A., and on recovery apps like this. Continue to learn about your condition. Hopefully you will make peace with it, and learn to live a happy and fulfilling life without it. I don’t have experience with your second question, so I’ll leave that one for others to reply. In the meantime, keep reaching out!

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#3

Welcome and congratulations on the 22! That is outstanding!
I struggled with anger my whole life, I was an angry child, and it followed me to adulthood. I got sober late in life. 46. The first 6-8 months I was incredibly angry because I felt I was given a raw deal. It wasn’t until I worked the steps, went to therapy, and started meds that I began to understand where the anger was stemming from. Now I can get angry, feel it, deal with it and move on in a healthy way.
You are still early in recovery… be kind to yourself. It is not an easy road. You have been through he!l and are still standing! Be proud of that. You are asking for help be proud of that! Peace and serenity will come with work and time. Keep faith.

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#4

Welcome here. Sobriety is amazing, stick around.

  1. it doesn’t matter why we are what we are and drink how we drink. Other people are not
  2. talk to your Dr
    Keep coming back, it gets better!
1 Like
#5

We are all wired differently. I don't like to smoke a lot of pot but I can't take one small hit when if I ever do it. Others I know smoke a lot more. It's the same with drinkers who stop at 1 or 2. Ask them why. They will probably tell you they feel done. You are doing well so congrats on your journey. It really is the best way to live. No better feeling than healthy living.

#6

*But I can take one small hit

#7

I certainly felt as though life was unfair too! How can some people be able to drink while I can never again touch the stuff? It was personal and it hurt. A lot. I was losing my best friend and life was definitely unfair! I still think that way but in a very different capacity. We recovering alcoholics get to have major eye opening experiences that “normal people” do not! I almost feel sorry for them because they’ll never get to experience the transformation that I have been so blessed to have! They are truly the unlucky ones!!!!!

#8

I've been on gaba for a decade for nerve pain. It is known to help with anxiety amongst other things, withdrawal symptoms for a number of substances. It can be habit forming supposedly but I can go without it for a year after a decade of use no problem so I will say, for me, it isn't.

You have a strong desire and are taking some huge steps. Do take the time to learn as much as you can about the disease. Also about yourself. Your triggers, strengths and weaknesses Etc. Once you leave the controlled environment you are in it does become more difficult. I don't want to scare you but rather forewarn you to make the very most of your time!

#YouGotThis

#9

As for the anger... punch em in the nose and tell me if it makes you feel any better... only kidding. DONT. What I will say is to me it seems rather silly to be angry at someone because they have not been dealt the same misfortune in life as you have. Imagine if we all felt that way concerning all things, what a messed up world we would live in. I don't say any of this to make you feel bad but rather in hope to maybe put it in perspective a bit.

#10

Don’t try alcohol. You’re too young and too pretty. I try to tell my cousins that…