Is it ok to just wanna cut back and not quit? Control the liquor and not let it control me?
5 Likes
If you can get your hands on a copy, pdf or physical, of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, the chapter āThere Is A Solutionā might provide some insight. Particularly beginning page 20, halfway down the page, the paragraph starting with āHow many timesā¦ā
But just to be safe, read the whole chapter 
And have you been to any meetings? Listened to othersā alcoholic experiences to see if you relate to the moderate drinker, the hard drinker, or believe you might actually be an alcoholic? Because the true alcoholic canāt control their drinking. Others might, but not alcoholics.
3 Likes
Itās OK to try anything you wanna try, if it works for you it works.
2 Likes
If you could do that, you wouldn't be here, asking that question. Right? It hasn't worked for any of us, but maybe you'll be the first.
4 Likes
Big book talks about the kinda drinking you are speaking of. Wonāt work
If you can control it that is fine but in most our experiences it always ends up controlling us.
4 Likes
Iāve been trying to ācontrolā it and no. Every time I try, I end up binging and it just gets worse and worse as time goes by.
2 Likes
I cut back from every day to going four days dry and three days high. Now I'm still running that cycle and I'm dizzy. I'm ready to get off this ride for sure. But this time I'm asking for help.
1 Like
Some or few who have struggled to reduce or control it previously most likely can not control in the future. Nothing is impossible. Be sober curious. Try to actually hit a mark of a month or a couple weeks. Decide from there. If you continually look forward to when you get to drink again and think about it a lot then that's a sign you need to shoot for abstinence as a whole. This is my general understanding. It's more likely to control it in the future the longer you abstain. And hey, you may just gain your health, friendships, and money in the process. Theres a reason they say and we say day by day.
4 Likes
Of course, harm reduction is always a valid approach. However, there aren't any guarantees that it'll work.
I wanted to quit completely, but so far have only been successful at cutting back, other people would love to moderate but can't. It just depends on what approach works for you.
Most people with a drinking problem aren't able to control their drinking on their own though, so if your plan is to moderate or cut back you should probably look into treatment methods that help with moderation.
For me I've had success using naltrexone and The Sinclair Method over the last 8 months to cut back from 400-512 drinks per month to about 4 drinks per month. But different things work for different people.
1 Like
there is no such thing as just one drink or controll for an alcoholic. This is what makes us alcoholics. The alcohol controls us. There is no such thing as cut down. Realizing this is a mile stone to recovery.
3 Likes
Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from others. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday we will control and enjoy our drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
Chapter 3 of the AA Big Book states, āHere are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number or drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums ā we could increase the list ad infinitum.ā
3 Likes
Took me twelve years and absolute liver failure to ācut back.ā
1 Like
Tea nailed it. Read about the types of drinkers in the Big Book and see if you identify.
For me, as a real alcoholic;
if Iām controlling it Iām not enjoying it, if Iām enjoying it Iām not controlling it.
5 Likes
If you can control it, youāre not an alcoholic!
2 Likes
It depends on if your are an alcoholic. Chances are since you are asking, you probably are, but thatās not for me to say. Alcoholics who get sober can not ācontrolled drinkā.
1 Like
I struggled to ācontrolā my drinking for years. Sometimes I would go long periods without overdoing it. But inevitably I would eventually go too far, have a blackout night and wake up with regrets and a terrible hangover. Even when I was ācontrollingā it, it was a constant struggle my brain/body always wanted more more more. Eventually I got tired of the constant struggle. It is so much easier for me to quit completely than to try to keep it under control. Best of luck to you whatever route you choose to go.
2 Likes
You can, of course, do whatever you want. And it is pretty much every alcoholicās dream to be able to control our drinking. What most of us who found our way to apps like this and meetings like 12 step have found, is that we are powerless when it comes to drinking (or drugs or sā¬x or exercising or eating or whatever you DOC is). Until we enter recovery our lives are unmanageable. Even during times when we are not using, we are obsessed with the next drink. We exhibit risky behavior. Our priorities are askew. And eventually we give in. Sometimes quickly, sometimes after years.
I will ask you this: why will this attempt to control your drinking be different from your previous attempts? Are you going to try harder this time? Because addiction is a disease, and you canāt control it any more than you can control cancer or diabetes. But you can treat it. And you can find relief from the cravings, the obsession, and the guilt/shame/remorse cycle that we all go through after a binge.
1 Like
I read a story once on Instagram by a woman who goes by Brutal Recovery. She was talking about the possibility of scientists creating a pill that would allow her to drink like a normal person. And her first thought was that if such a pill existed she would take a whole bunch so she could get really messed up.
Thatās how my mind works. I want the ability to drink responsibly but I actually have no desire to do it. If I have 1, I want to finish the bottle. And then drink the hangover away the next morning. So I just gave up. I have been defeated by alcohol. I waved the white flag 
and surrendered.
I use to think that because I didnāt HAVE to drink every day or even every week I wasnāt an alcoholic. Well, Iām not in that sense but I am in the sense that when Iām triggered to want that drink (even if itās only twice a month) I buy a pint of my favorite whiskey and drink it all at one time. In this respect, the alcohol was controlling me and I am in fact an addict.
1 Like