It’s a Great Day to be Sober!
Day 83
Forgiveness
“It was not until I offered and accepted my own forgiveness, that I was truly able to grow in my sobriety.” — Hope, Faith & Courage, p. 127-128
When I first got into recovery, I felt consumed by guilt and shame over all the horrible things I had done while I was using. I wanted others to forgive me so badly that I became a doormat. I never said “no,” and I felt even worse about myself and my relationships. Even though I was sober and working the Steps, my insides were in a continued state of turmoil.
In recovery, I learned that I had never forgiven myself, both for my actions before I got sober, as well as my lack of boundaries after I made it into the rooms. I saw myself so lowly as to not even be worth my seat at the tables, and, frankly, I treated myself that way. I eventually hit a different kind of bottom.
Today, I know that I am worthy of sobriety and healthy relationships. It is important to be kind and loving towards myself. I can be more accepting of all my parts—the ones needing some work and the ones that shine brightly. I know I’ve made huge mistakes in my life and hurt people I love, but if I can’t forgive myself than no one else will either.
Today, I will remember that we are all worthy of love and acceptance.