It’s cold, and wet, and 
Monday. Dressing like this (and there’s no faja/Spanx/waist clincher/girdle/corset/control top anything, this is all me)makes me very much aware of the fact that when all the fat melts off me, I kinda have a sort of hourglass figure going on. And when the fat melts off and I have kind of an hourglass figure happening, I get new, and sometimes unwanted, attention from guys. The few people who know the whole truth about me know I started binge eating after grandfather made me a woman, and that I considered getting fat AF an appropriate defense against him doing it again because he was disgusted by fatness. My shrink knows keeping the weight off has always been a problem because when I lose weight, and start to look good, I start to feel the eyes of men on my body, and the crazy part of my mind insists that the men eyeing me appreciatively are only doing so because they want to do to me the same thing grandfather did, and then I gain all the weight back again to keep them off me…and how am I on my way into work to run a therapy group when I need to be on the receiving end of an exorcism.
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