it’s Friday night. i’m playing another concert. everyone is drinking as per usual (including my bandmates). i’m actually not seduced in the slightest tonight. you know what keeps going through my head? my plan.
does anyone else have long-term goals they hope to achieve?
i know for me, it’s nerve-racking to talk about my true hopes and dreams. anything more than an acknowledgment seems like it might jinx everything sometimes. but other times i feel like i’m 10 feet tall and ready to take anything on.
i want to say something i haven’t admitted on social media yet or even mentioned publicly for that matter - i wrote an album and i want to release it. in fact, i have to release it and i have to tour it. the two things i’m the most adverse to. why? because fame and success are what i’ve been most afraid of and what have been imprisoning me. it’s time to eliminate fear, rational or otherwise.
thank you sobriety for the courage to face my demons.
anyone else care to talk about big dreams and big worries? would like to hear stories. feel free to message me if it’s too personal for a post.