Anyone else struggle with remembering your addiction? Sometimes I’m think I’m never gonna have that much fun again and then other times i remember it really wasn’t fun, like i was mostly sick or an asshole.
Unfortunately…yes! I did some crazy sh!t! I had some past experiences that I’m glad I got to experience. I still find myself wanting to experience those good times once again. Then I think things all the way thru about everything that comes along with it. I can’t just have the pleasurable times. My life becomes a complete sh!t show unmanageability, lies, pain, remorse, guilt, fear etc. once I think it threw, I get back to a happy place of peace with my present life. I don’t know if these fond memories will ever fade, but if I practice my program and I’m mindful, I won’t be tricked into forgetting all of those things that come with that lifestyle. In some ways I’m grateful for having “some” of these experiences. I don’t have to regret not having ever having “tried” to have “fun”. I did it, and I learned from it. My wife and kids would kill me if they ever heard me say that I’m grateful for some of my past experiences lol
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