It's is starting to get easier as the days go bye not saying they are happy days but they are sober days without medication
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As an alcoholic/addict, I can completely relate to this. Are you doing anything to address your disease? Counseling, meetings, groups, etc?
That looks like a beautiful spot!! I would caution you on spending too much time "lost in thought" so to speak. What worked for me was getting to meetings, surrounding myself with sober people, getting a sponsor, a home group, a service position in that home group, and working the steps. Early on, I had to treat my mind like a dangerous neighborhood and try not to go there alone.
I write down all my thoughts good or bad sometimes it's like reading a nice poem others touch me emotionally and I can't read I'm not going to groups or anything like that
Right on brother 
Have a great weekend