For the first time ever I had 4 months sober. The longest time I ever had. Acter detox and inpatient treatment and outpatient. Im so hurt that i lost it. But in one day I made a mistake.
Now here I am back on track. Attending intensive outpatient therapy. Just started going to weekly therapy. Back at church.
Now intending to start AA. I think thats what was missing. I was too hesitant. I like going to meetings im just so nervous about getting a sponsor and starting the steps. It just sounds like too much work. Idk. I know i need to do it though, i know it works if you work it.
If i could make it so long before I know i can do even better this time.
So here we go again, the fight for recovery 
never giving up
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12-steps is not the only option. You can look into other programs, if you want. SMART Recovery is what has helped me.
I never fully committed to my recovery to have recovery support. So this time around I am jumping in with both feet. Best to you on your journey!