Ive been clean for 7 months out of 47 years

Recovery
#1

Ive been clean for 7 months out of 47 years. The world tipped over while i was away. I don't like it here.

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#2

Congratulations!

1 Like
#3

Well, now that we see it clearly let's make the most out of it!

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#4

Hi, Joshua, thank you for your reply. Yes I'm trying to make the most out of it. But it's like trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents! I DO SEE CLEARLY therein lies the problem brother. What were things so much easier when my only struggle was getting to the trap house? First I thought the playground yard was hard, then I thought the prison yard was hard but what in the NATURAL F*** kinda place is this? It's.... Unfamiliar,I don't recognize this place.

#5

Thank you lady bug! What a long strange trip it's been! You keep your crown straight and strong! Blessings to you.

#6

7 month or 7 minutes makes no difference but congrats to you for doing it. What matters most is now and getting to tomorrow and mabye if you feel rendy helping someone elce to get where you are at. I found when you give that help you are not only helping them but you also help yourself

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#7

Thank you for your kind words. Honestly though,I'm flyin blind brother. My spirit and energy are depleted. I've been around the globe searching for some light. I've searched inward as well. To depths I didn't know existed. No light anywhere. More and more I find myself yearning for the darkness I knew so well. I made love to it for half a century. It was the only thing that never lied to me when it said " there will always be a place for you here. I will always open the door when you knock"
Now, I wander around aimlessly like a lost child. I don't like it here. I'm alone, scared, bitter, angry, guilty, shameful and disgusted with all of this.

#8

A lack of self esteem and self worth fuel an ego and I read à book written by Jerry hirshfeld called my ego, my higher power, and I and learned that between me and my ego was thee biggest projenitor of my addiction. We all have tried géographical change but the problem is still there. What i found worked for me is helping others did and still does help me and it allows me peace

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