I've been doing xannax for 9 years I've been trying

I've been doing xannax for 9 years I've been trying to leave them until I get sober and I start getting panic attacks and anxiety. What can I do for this irritating feeling it doesn't let me concentrate I get mad at everyone my own family love ones until I take a xannax can some one help me I wanna stay sober I need to be sober I know I can do it but I have no other remedies in my head to keep from relapsing, what can I do ???

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Listen to music! Color! Go for a drive! Get you nails done. Work out. Go tanning. Get a massage. Color. Paint. Go see a movie. Meditate. Pray if you believe in a god. Journal. Write a song or poem.

FFS, go to a bunch of NA meetings and stop thinking about yourself for a while. Listen to someone else's stories, find the things that resonate with you, and share your experiences with others. Meetings will help take up some of thar uncomfortable time of sitting with your thoughts. Self care is important, but focusing on ourselves drives us crazy.